Sad jokes

Orphan

  • Orphans are human, too! They just don't know who their parents are or where! I know four sisters named Mariah, Kariah, Lariah, and Iariah and they said they are orphans, too! And they are sad and they don't like your jokes!

    Penaldo

  • As an honest Penaldo fan, I have to admit he is a penalty merchant. He can only score against farmer teams like Spezia. He never shows up against great teams like Barcelona.

    I've come to realize my hero Penaldo will never be better than Messi. My idol Penaldo is sadly finished.

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  • Scientist

  • Here are 20 jokes for you:

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    What did one wall say to the other wall? I'll meet you at the corner!

    Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

    Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!

    How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!

    Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop at nothing to avoid them!

    How does a bee style its hair? With a honeycomb!

    Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!

    What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!

    What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? Snowballs!

    Why don't eggs tell jokes? Because they might crack up!

    Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!

    What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

    Why don't skeletons fight each other? They don't have the guts!

    What did one plate say to the other plate? Dinner is on me!

    Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!

    Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they would be bagels!

    Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!

    How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots!

    What do you call a sleeping bull? A bull-dozer!

    I hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Let me know if you'd like to hear more.

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  • Daughter

  • It was raining sadly all day. My wife, my two daughters, and me were stuck in the house when wife’s mom and dad just died.

    Wife: 😭😭😭I wish this never happened.

    Mia, our first daughter: Mommy, it’s ok. I love whenever I see you🥰🥰

    Abby, our second daughter: I love you all. Only if you guys die I won’t, but I love you when you're alive 😉😏

    Me, husband: What kind of nonsense was that? You love us when we’re alive, but you don’t love us when we’re dead🤥😥😓

    Everyone except Abby: Abby, this is serious. Mommy’s mother and father died. Mia says: Yes, your mom is sadly down right now, you made her more sad😡🤬. Dad says: *sniffs* Abby, I had made a discussion. I will take you to an orphanage. I am sorry 😣 when I am better and happy and I forgot what you said then we’ll get you back. Mom says:

    This was not a joke. I just did this for Love 💕

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  • Estate

  • A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.

    "My paternal uncle died three months ago."

    "Wow! No wonder you're sad!"

    "It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."

    "Then what's the matter?"

    "My maternal uncle died two months ago."

    "Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"

    "It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."

    "Then what's the matter?"

    "My father died last month."

    "Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"

    "It's not that. He left me his entire estate."

    "Then what's the matter?"

    With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"