Sad jokes

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.

A dick has a sad life. His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his best friend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.

Don't be sad, because that's das backwards and das not good.

I have some sad news. The Australian inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. RIP 😔

I was sad, so I called the depression hotline. Turns out the depression hotline is where people roast you until you are depressed.

1. just feeling sad. 2. depression. 3. self harm. 4. suicide.

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.

Q. Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?

A. Because he got hit by a truck.

It's sad someone has ligma.

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!

Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.

Bin Laden’s kid comes sad from school.

“Dad, I got an F in Geography class!”

“Why is that?”

“The teacher asked me what’s the tallest building in New York and I said ‘Empire State Building.’”

Bin Laden waits a moment and then replies, “Let dad handle this one.”

The other day I went to a museum. My friend and I went to the Holocaust section, and he got choked up when he saw the Anne Frank picture. I asked him, "Why are you sad? It's just an ashtray."

if you play minecraft: your dog is still waiting for you in the world you made along time ago.

Why can't an orphan play baseball?

He doesn't know where home is.

How do you make a plumber sad?

You kill his family.

Why is 10 so sad? Because it was in the middle of 9/11.

What do you call a sad coffee?

Despresso.

Why don't orphans drink milk?

'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.