Russia jokes
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers donβt rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
What do Joe Biden and Russia have in common?
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Russia is so corrupt that Putin was voted most sexiest man.
Have you ever heard of the Russian politician who was so afraid of the dark that, instead of going to the bathroom at night, he would use a metal tin that he kept underneath his bed?
His name is Vladimir Pootin.
It looks like Kevin Magnussen finally got pole position.
He has the bragging rights that he took over Russia now.
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
The "S" in Putin stands for smart.
"Pootin is a pussy won't even fight in the war that he started!"
"Pootin is a pussy and Ukraine is beating Russia's ass!"
What did Donald Trump serve to Justin Trudeau at a state dinner?
Poutine with Russian dressing!
Putin's Brain:
What are Russia's favorite netball positions?
Goal Shooter and Wing Attack.
Who will win the war: like for Russia, dislike for Ukraine?
We love Russia, we do.
We love Russia, we do.
We love Russia, we do.
Oh, Russia, we love you! π·πΊ
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
Dmitri! Where's my vodka?
Russia is worse than the USSR.
Russia is just a bonerless USSR.
Honestly, Ukraine is just built to annoy Russia.
Yo, if Russia comes to the USA, just know their reboot cards don't expire.
Putin be like CSGO is much harder in real life!
Russia be like we're strong, gets ass beat up by a comedian with a hook nose...
#i stand with Ukraine πΊπ¦