Run jokes
When the washer started running, why did you join me?
Because I had to catch it.
Is your tap water running well?
Beta, go catch it!
What runs but does not walk? It's water.
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?
Sanity to live: I don't know?
Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!
Sanity to live? *dies*
Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.
Sanity to live: *resurrected*
Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...
(sponsored by jumping bridges)
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
Summary of Twilight in one sentence:
Bella hits on two guys, runs away. Edward glances to Jacob saying, "Go Fetch," and suddenly Bella's his.
Yo mama is so Jewish that pennies run away from getting pinched by her.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?
Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.