Run jokes

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.

What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.

My Son: "Mummy, why is my name Thomas?"

Me: "Because the night you were conceived, I had a train run on me."

They say that bad things happen to good people.

So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.

The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!

Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.

Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.

A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.

A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.

«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.

A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».

Your eyebrows run away like your dad.

This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?

Yo mama so ugly, when she sweats, the sweat runs down the back of her head to avoid her face.

Why do orphans love baseball?

Because it gives them a home to run to.

If you have a pair and it runs around the street, what do you call it? A running pair.

Why can't an orphan hit a home run?

They have no home to run to.

What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!

Guy: Are you tired?

His “Crush”: No.

Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?

His “Crush”: That’s sweet.

Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.

If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!

Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.