Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Why did the autistic ice cream run away from the party?
She had a meltdown.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Why did Hellen Keller's dogs run away?
Because wouldn't you runway too if your name was djhdhekdndyekedhekekfjkfurir?
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
Ever wondered why Usain Bolt runs fast? He's training to outrun the cops.
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
