Run jokes
An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"
Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?
Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!
On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!
Yo mama is so Jewish that pennies run away from getting pinched by her.
Which hole talks faster? Your mouth or your ass? Can't tell the difference because they both run shit at once.
A man walked into a bar and said, "What do you call a cum shot?"
The people running the bar said, "I don't know, nut."
The guy said, "Are you calling me a nut?"
What happened to the chicken when he crossed the road? He didn't. He got run over by a truck.
Why do cheetahs run? Because they are spotty.
How do you make a cat sound like a dog? Pour gasoline on it, then light it on fire and it will go "WOOF!"
How do you make a dog sound like a cat? Put it in the deep freeze until frozen solid, then run it through an electric saw and it will go "MMMRROWWWWWW!"
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
A: What do you call a sophisticated American? B: Canadian.
A: Why aren't there any Mexicans in Canada? B: They can't run that far.
«A: Что вы называете искушенным американцем? Б: Канадец.
A: Почему в Канаде нет ни одного мексиканца? Б: Они не могут убежать так далеко».
The only thing running in THIS family’s your big ass mouth! Oh, I’d better shut up, or Big Bertha’s gonna confuse my head for a burger!
Your eyebrows run away like your dad.
This year the London marathon was run on your hairline. It was so far back no one could complete it!
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.