Run jokes

You're snorting cocaine with your buddies. Your eyes are closed, feeling the bliss of drugs, when suddenly something wet touches your nostril. Your buddy Mark stuck his PENIS in your face. You look up at Mark, and he says, "I'm sorry," and runs away, his pants still down.

People say dogs are like their owners. So true. My dog keeps on running into the street as if she doesn't care about her life.

I don't care about her life either hahahaha!! :)

Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, “Mommy, can little girls have babies?”

“No,” said his mom, “Of course not.”

Little Johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, “It’s okay! We can play that game!”

What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire?

Hot wheels.

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

What runs faster than Stephen Hawking in his wheelchair?

His Internet.

Why is it you donate one kidney, you're a hero, but donate four or five and people run and call the police?

What's the definition of disappointment?

Running into a wall with a boner, but it only hits your nose.

When I hit a home run, I finally felt what it was like to have a home.

I told my mum the refrigerator was running, so she got dressed and ran after it...

What did the SS say when A.H. was running out of ideas?

"You Wannsee my 'final solution'?"

During the Great War, a man holding a machine gun shoots down a swarm of soldiers running on a swamp.

He says: "You came to the wrong swamp, Americans! You came to the wrong swamp!" *He didn't stop firing.*

Little Johnny and little Sally walked in on Mommy and Daddy going at it in the bedroom doggy style. They innocently ask, "Mommy, Daddy what are you doing?"

Mommy says, "Oh, Daddy is just parking his car in Mommy's garage, now go and play."

A few minutes later they hear a blood curdling squeal and run to see what was the matter.

Little Johnny is running in circles squealing and little Sally says, "Well little Johnny was trying to park his car in my garage and he couldn't get the back wheels in so I took the scissors and cut them off."

What do you get if you cross diarrhea with incest?

I don't know.

Neither do I, but it runs in the family.

My name is Joe Biden, and I am running for US Senate.

Two tomatoes are walking on a road. Then a car runs over one of them, and the other says: "Hi, ketchup!"

Why couldn't the rape victim run away?

Because she was dead.

Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.

How do you get 50 hungry kids into a box? You put a can of beans in there.

How do you get 50 hungry kids out of a box? You run past with a can opener.

Short girl: "How do you see up there?"

Tall guy: "Who said that?"

I spit my drink out and then ran away.