Run jokes

My love for you is like poop.

Whenever I feel you, I have to run to the toilet and flush you away.

Me running out of the hospital after telling COVID patients to stay "positive."

An orphan walked up to the lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand, "Hey, bum, bum, bum, got a family?"

Yo mama so stupid, she made Patrick run away because he thought it was contagious! 🤣

It's the Olympics.

Q) Why did the man decide not to run in his race? A) Because of Olympiad.

Fe fi foung better run and hide: Covid (really).

On my signal, I would like you to drive onto the pavement (sidewalk) and run over my ex-wife.

Mommy, mommy, why do I keep running around in circles?

Shut up, or I'll nail your other foot to the floor!

What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?

"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"

When the washer started running, why did you join me?

Because I had to catch it.

Is your tap water running well?

Beta, go catch it!

Is your oven running?

Then you better go catch it!

Is your refrigerator running? "Yeah, I guess." Well, you better go catch it! Haha, I'm a girl, it's funny!

Run, or something will come to you, and you will be afraid to tell it to stop following you.

Me: Why did the bus drop his ice cream?

Sanity to live: I don't know?

Me: He was run over by Timmy!!!

Sanity to live? *dies*

Me: *At edge of bridge* Wow, sweet view.

Sanity to live: *resurrected*

Narrator: Sometimes a bridge is all you need...

(sponsored by jumping bridges)

When the emo kid looks at you and says, "Fuck you," run!

What runs but does not walk? It's water.

Stephanie

I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.

I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"

Why can’t orphans play baseball?

Because they can’t run home.