I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
Nasruddin Hodja was tilling his patch of land when a hunter came riding up.
“Hey, you!" said the man. “Did you see a boar run past?"
“Yes," replied Hodja.
“Which way did it go?" demanded the man.
Hodja pointed in the direction in which the boar had gone.
The man rode away without a word of thanks, but he was back within minutes.
“No sign of it!" he said. “Are you sure it went that way?"
“I am certain," replied Hodja. “It went that way. Two years ago."
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
Why did Michael Jackson run?
Because he lost his glove.
Black people run fast.
What's red and runs up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.
Two Australians walk into a bar. They run into the ceiling fan immediately.
Your mum is so ugly she made Paul Walker run.
"Knock knock?"
"Who's there?"
"Depression"
"Depression wh-"
ME!! *runs away*
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't run home.
Our family is known for unusually sloppy diarrhea.
It runs in our jeans.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from Kernel Sanders.
Hehehe
Daughter: Where was I born?
Dad: Alabama.
Daughter: That is nice.
Mum: We have never been to Alabama.
Dad: RUN!
If Red gets voted out, what happened?
Red is not voted out, Red is a hacker, so he kills Blue. OK, so someone found Blue's body. Red said, "Where?"
Lime, Green, and Purple said, "How is Red not dead?"
Red: "I am a hacker, you noobs!"
Lime, Green, and Purple run.
Red killed them all. Red is the win, but he is not the win.
Black killed Red. Black is the win.
LOL
Little Johnny once was at a camp and asked his teacher if he could sleep with her because he was homesick, so the teacher said yes. A few seconds later, Little Johnny asked if he could run his finger in her bellybutton, and she said yes.
A few seconds later, she moaned and felt so good, but it was not his finger putting it down her bellybutton; it was his dick and her penis.
A Russian, a Brit, and a terrorist are in an air balloon.
First, the Russian says, "I dare to throw a stone down!" So he does that, but the others don't seem to be impressed. So the Brit says, "I dare to throw a brick down!" So again he does that, the Russian is impressed, but the terrorist laughs and says, "I dare to throw a bomb down!" So he does that and everybody can't believe what they have just seen. So a bit further, they land, and a shocked and afraid little boy comes running up to them. So they ask what happened, on which the little boy said, "I farted and my school exploded."
Robin asks Batman what he is getting his parents for Christmas. Batman gets mad, slaps Robin, and runs off crying.
Now you know why Batman Beyond was born when Bruce died. cause of death: suicide
I am sick and tired of horror movies; it is always the stupid ones that die first. When you see a guy in a dark, bloody coat and a knife, he ain't there to just look at yah run; don't scream, run!
