Run jokes
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Why did the orphan cross the road and stop in a lane? To get run over.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
Memes
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
"Ya tryna run? Hop in the van."
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
Why do cheetahs run?
Why not?
Black people run fast.
My dog was hungry, so I let him loose outside while I filled his bowl.
I found out later that he was run over by a truck. It seemed to really hit the Spot.