Run jokes
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
What eats nuts and bolts? A squirrel that’s running late!
If I tell Stephen about these jokes, what is he gonna do? Chase after me? He better run fast!
Why do orphans love baseball?
Because it gives them a home to run to.
Repeat after me...
Me: "You have a weird style."
Mom: "You have a weird style."
Me: "Um, not your mirror!" *runs away*
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
I went to the store because I had to go to school to run up downstairs because my phone started calling me because I was playing Mario Kart on my kitchen sink's baby grandma, like if you cry every time.
Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.
I hate sitting in traffic, I always get run over.
What's the Fastest 20000 Meter Dash a Human Can Run?
Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?
A: The drunk guy runs it, and the stoner waits for it to turn green!
In fright, I saw my faceless soul! Never imagined it could run that fast!
They say that bad things happen to good people.
So if you get run over by a car just know you're a good person.
If Fascism got popularized by autistics, the trains would have run on time.
What do you call an orphan in a wheelchair running into fire? Hot Wheels.
When Leicester City won the league in 2015/16, do you think there was a little lad in Africa running around with "Drinkwater" on his back, annoying the hell out of the locals?
My kid runs in today to tell me that he found a floating cow, but when he got me to come and see, all I saw was a piñata with a tail and white spots. Such a stupid child. So after that I gave him a nice refreshing drink from the toilet and a few of those chocolate sprinkles. (: I'm such a good parent...
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."