Yo mama so fat, you must refuel twice to run over her with a car.
Dad: Son, who do you want to marry when you grow up?
Son: A ugly girl.
Dad: Why not a pretty girl?
Son: A pretty one might run away.
Dad: So an ugly one might too.
Son: Yeah, but who cares?
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
Little Sally found out that she had hair on her private area and went up to her mom and asked, "Mom, I have hair on my privates, what is it?"
"Oh honey, that's your monkey," the mom says.
So little Sally runs up to her big sister and says, "My monkey has hair on it!" So the sister replies with a laugh, "You think that's cool? My monkey is already eating bananas!"
Most people are scared of clowns. That's why everyone runs away from you.
Do your buses run on time?
No, they run on diesel.
The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
A black Jewish boy runs home from school one day and asks his father, “Daddy, am I more Jewish or more black?” The dad replies, “Why do you want to know, son?” “Because a kid at school is selling a bike for $50 and I want to know if I should talk him down to $40 or just steal it!”
We're skipping April Fools' Day this year. The biggest joke is already sitting in office running our country.
Why did the boy get run over?
Sally was driving.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
When you run over a speed bump in a school zone and you remember that there are no speed bumps.
What's the hardest part of running through a field of dead babies?
My boner.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
I got a lot running through my head right now. I wish at least one was a 12-gauge round.
A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.
Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.
Why do short people laugh when they run?
Because the grass tickles their balls.
Roses are red. Violets are too. You better run, I’m following you!
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
