Roast jokes
What happened when the duck crossed the road?
It crossed the road.
I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.
You're so skinny you're a thin stick.
You're so fat that when you got in Pacific Ocean, you became the Pacific Ocean.
You're so ugly you got stuff for free.
You're so nasty that when you eat spaghetti, you thought it was throw up.
You're so fat you're the fattest person on Earth.
You are so gay you kissed the boy last night.
I know your name is baller cause I'm gonna put my baller into yo MOTHER HOLLER!
If I missed something, I'll give it to you. If you taked it, you are a mistake.
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."
You call me ugly, but maybe that is why we look alike.
Friend: Do you think she likes me?
Me: Yah.
Friend: Really😀😀😀?
Me: Hell no.
Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.
Deez nuts, ahaha!
Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.
I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.
My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?
You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.
1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”
2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.
3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.
What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...
Yo mama is so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn't be inside her dreams.