Roast jokes

You: You are such a flick pain.

Me: You are flick pain to my sight.

You're so fat that when you stepped on a scale, it said, "To be continued..."

Friend: Do you think she likes me?

Me: Yah.

Friend: Really😀😀😀?

Me: Hell no.

Friend: 😥😓😫😭😭😭😭😭😭 You did not have to be so honest.

Deez nuts, ahaha!

Shut the fuck up, you fat bitch. You always like to roast others, but you can't walk up the stairs without passing out, you fat, stupid bitch. And I caught you breaking into someone's house just to steal a piece of candy, fat-ass bitch.

I hope you're an organ donor so your organs can go to someone who deserves them.

Use the roast I put of flat earth.

You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.

You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.

1. Your brother says... “you look ugly.” You say back... “Nice, I was trying to look like you.”

2. You're so dumb, I'm surprised you even made it to kindergarten.

3. The ugly vowels: A, E, I, O, and YOU.

What is the difference between you and me? I have parents and yours left...

Yo mama is so ugly that even Donald Trump couldn't be inside her dreams.

My mum told me to take you to the zoo and throw you in the lake, but I couldn't find you.

You so fat you got thrown out the window, but the window threw you back inside.

How come your sister is hotter than you? Funny, huh?

Your mom was born in a dumpster, as well as you.

You're the reason the middle finger got created.

Bully: Agh, you're ugly!

Me: Said your mom when you were born.

Bro, you can't be talking. You built like Barney the dinosaur. Barney is a dinosaur with dinosaur sensation.

I'd say you were the spawn of Satan, but that would be an insult to Satan.

Ur mama so fat that when she went to the ocean, all the whales started singing, "We are family," even knowing your fatter than me.