Roast jokes

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?

What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?

Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!

Yo hair so big it took me weeks to find the needle in it.

You think you're funny? Look at your hairline; it looks like a McDonald's sample.

If the genie from Aladdin was here, my three wishes would be for you to die, your kids to have a miserable life, and for everyone you love to die.

When you went to an ugly competition, the judges said, "No professionals allowed."

Everyone always has a special person in their life someday, but I think yours got ran over by a bus.

You're so ugly that even Hello Kitty said goodbye.

Just 'cause I’m gay doesn’t mean I want you. I’m shocked anyone would.

By day I like girls, by night I like boys, but you, I wouldn’t like you at dusk or dawn.