Roast jokes

If I had a dollar for every time you said something smart, I'd be broke.

You have a head of a Malteser and a hairline VEGTA.

I didn't know that COVID-19 was a thing until I saw your eyebrows and your hairline social distancing.

Bro, they almost forgot you in the abortion bucket.

Bro, you were born in a local 7-Eleven bathroom.

You: You are such a flick pain.

Me: You are flick pain to my sight.

I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.

You make Sanic look like a PRINCESS when he's next to you.

This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.

Your mom is so old that her birth certificate says "expired."

If there was a zombie, you would not die because you have no brain.

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to an ugly contest, they said she wasn’t allowed because no professionals were allowed.

One time you walked up to a mirror, but it’s shattered because of your reflection.

Roses are red, violets are blue, gum makes me beautiful, but what happened to you?

You're so ugly, your mother thought about setting you up for adoption.

Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"

If someone says nobody asked, you could say, "Well, nobody asked for you to talk!"

You're so ugly not even your mom thinks you're beautiful.

Why is it so easy to roast an orphan?

What are they gonna do, run home and tell their parents?

Yo body so plastic that a turtle could choke on your peeled skin!