Road jokes
A man walks into a bar with a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender asks what he wants. The man says, "I would like one beer for me and one for the road."
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
One time, me and the bois got drunk and we were on the freeway...
...when the road was closed because a wild animal species named “The Cult” was on the loose.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house.
Ok, wanna hear another one? Okay. Knock knock. (Who's there?) The chicken from the other joke.
Wade, you're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not.
I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Hey Hunter, Thomas here.
Why did the plane cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Thanks guys, remember to like it, means a lot!
Two people walk down the road. One says to the other, "Mitch, we passed Weight Watchers 2 minutes ago." He responds, "Jake, the noodle shop is just here. You've been carrying that sh*t on your head for 14 years!"
Why did Trump's brain cross the road?
Oh wait, there is no other side.
Q. Why did the cow cross the road?
A. Because he/she wanted to watch the moooovie.
Why did the cat cross the road?
To die.
Why did the cow cross the road?
To go to the moovies.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To try to get away from the man.
Why did the man cross the road?
Because his d**k was stuck in the chicken.
Why did the duck walk across the road? I lost my pecker!
Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To show he had guts.
Why did the other hedgehog cross the road? To see his flat mate.
Why did the elephant cross the road?
To get to the peanut.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
I went out for a drive and attempted to drift on the road. It didn't end well for me, or for the speed bumps I hit.
Wait, there aren't any road bumps.
O h s h i t.
Why did the Lego cross the road? He was on the wrong block!
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the “shell” station.