Why did ze cow cross the road?
yo watch his mum getting butchered she was an udder faliure
What hates socialism but still uses roads, police, and says they support the military?
Dumb right wingers.
Why did the orphan die on the road? Because they had no one to hold their hand.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
Why do deer stay in front of a moving car?
To commit suicide.
Why did the Mexican chicken cross the road?
Because the mom said, "Vente, Baca."
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
Person: Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?
Stranger: Oh, just go Stand in the middle of the road.
A boy asked his dad for some money to buy an ice cream with, so he went to an ice cream van. Whilst he was in the queue, two boys asked him what flavor he was getting. He told them "strawberry." The two boys were shocked and beat him up. The ice cream man felt bad and gave him his strawberry ice cream for free.
When he got home, his dad also asked what flavor he bought. The boy said "strawberry." His dad then kicked him out of the house. The boy, confused, walked down the street and was stopped by the police, who were looking for a boy who had been eating strawberry ice cream. The boy said, "That's me," and the policeman arrested him.
A week later in court, the boy was on trial. The judge asked, "Can you tell me what were you doing on the fifth of May?" (the day he was arrested) The boy said, "I was eating ice cream." The judge decided he was innocent. On the way out, the judge asked him what the flavor was (he had forgotten to ask during the trial). Of course, he answered with "strawberry." The judge, horrified, realized he had given the wrong verdict and the boy should have been executed. Unfortunately, he couldn't change what had happened, so the boy walked out and crossed the road but was hit by a car and died.
The moral of the story is look left and right before crossing the road.
the cat ran across the road when the car swerved it killed a bear that killed a dog that killed a squirrel that killed a nut, the cat survived it all, the cat killed the squirrel and the bear with the car... the cat still died why? It had a Catastrophic Catcident
Why couldn't the penguin cross the road?
It was ran over. 🐧
two persons were in a car the brakes were broken and they were so fast that they would crash and die. The driver said:" Oh no! we will die!" but the person sitting next to him replied:" Don't panic the stop sign at the end of the road will stop us."
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You:Why? To get to the little b***h's house! Knock knock! You:Who's there? The chicken (this is more like a roast and a pun lol)
why did the baby cross the road? because he wanted to die
What do you call a car on the side of the road, lit up and ablaze?
Paul Walker's death.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
His parents were on the other side!
Why do animals cross the road?
Because it is funny, do you say "dogs" and "cats?"
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.
Why did Monaco cross the road? It smashed a 1-mile radius of the road + the chicken.
Two guys were walking down the street, and one of the guys told his friend he could talk any blond in the world into giving him a blowjob, any blond!
So the guy bet him 20 bucks and pointed to this cute blond sitting on the side of the road and said, "Alright, let's see it!"
The other guy walks up to the cutie and says, "Hi, my name's Dave, and my doctor just told me that if I didn't get a blowjob from a blond within three hours, the disease I have will kill me in, oh, let's see now, 22 minutes!"
She looked up at him with tears in her eyes and said, "You mean I could save you from dying right now?" Then she says, "Pull it out!"
Ten minutes later, the two men were laughing and patting old Dave on the back when his friend noticed the blond sitting in the alley bawling her eyes out!
So he walks over to her and says, "I would have thought you would be so happy for saving my friend's life?!"
So she looks up at him just crying her eyes out even worse and says, "I could have saved my dad!"
