Road jokes
What's the difference between a chicken and me? None, they both don't watch right and left before crossing the road.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Two lions plan their escape from the circus. The night they get out of their cages, they see a lone clown stumbling back from town, drunk, not a soul in sight. Since they are going on the run, they decide to catch one last meal before they hit the road.
As one lion gets a bite of leg, the second takes a piece of shoulder.
Then one stops and asks his companion:
"Does this taste funny to you?"
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.
She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."
Son said, "But I can't see."
Mom said, "That's the point."
What do you call a gay pride parade that was ran over?
Rainbow road.
Why did the koala cross the road?
To get to the big tree.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
What do you call a traffic light that tells you, "Don't look, I am changing!"
Why did the knight cross the road?
He can't because his armor was too heavy.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To drop some BARS on the other side.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
When is a car not a car? When it turns into a driveway. 🥁
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to the bitch house.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
What’s a gay person’s favorite race track?
Rainbow Road.
Why did mommy disappear? The dad: Well, when she crossed the road to get to the chicken, she only made it halfway.
What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?
Raped.
Why did the rapper cross the road?
To get to the other side of the TRACK.