Road jokes
How did Princess Diana cross the road?
Through the windshield!
Why did the orphan run into the street? To get to the other side of life.
Why didn't Stephen Hawking cross the road?
Because he rolled over to the other side!
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
I saw a sign that said, "Falling Rocks." I tried it, and it doesn't.
Memes
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because he wanted to go to the Shell station.
What do you call a toddler lying in the middle of the road? Speed bump.
How is a woman like a road?
They both have manholes.
Were you bought on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.
Why did the child cross the road?
Because he didn’t wear a seatbelt.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
Why can’t the baby cross the road?
Walls.
My friend said this to me: "Were you born on a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen." :(
Chuck Norris knows why the chicken crossed the road.
Okay, so one time a deaf kid got into a car accident, but he didn't herd in on the news.
Why did your mom cross the road?
Why? She didn't, she got hit by a car.
Why did the sperm cross the road?
I put on the wrong socks this morning.
Why did the gum cross the road?
It was stuck to the chicken’s foot.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
I love playing zebra crossing, but I always get run over.