Road jokes
Why did Little Johnny drop his ice cream?
Because he got hit by a bus.
Why did the emo kid not cross the road?
He was waiting for a car.
Why did the skunk 🦨 sleep 💤 under a car?
Because he wanted to wake up oily.
So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."
Person: "Sorry to bother you, but what's the quickest way to get to the hospital?"
Stranger: "Oh, just go stand in the middle of the road!"
A young man was crossing the road when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." The man took the frog, smiled at it, and put it in his wallet.
The frog called out again, "If you kiss me and I turn into a princess, I will live with you for a week and do everything you want." The young man took the frog out, smiled, and put it back.
Then the frog called out, "Okay, okay! I will be with you and do whatever you want forever!" The young man laughed and put it back in his wallet.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is wrong with you? I'm offering to be a beautiful princess! Why won't you kiss me?"
The young man said, "Listen, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is pretty cool."
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
Yesterday, I tried to help a little girl by a road stop crying. I asked her where her parents were, and that made her cry harder. So then I asked her where her house was, and she said with tears, "I don't have one." So I got her in my car and drove her to where she said she was living. It was an orphanage.
What is a prostitute's favorite form of traffic control?
Speed humps.
Why did the Mafia cross the road?
Forget about it...
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Why did the frog cross the road to hop to his side, Bih?
Why did the Canadian cross the road?
To say sorry to the other side.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why did the terrorist cross the road?
To get to the airport!
A woman prayed to be a mother everyday for many years until she crossed a road without looking and got hit by a woman driver and died.
When she met God, she asked Him, "How come you didn't answer my prayers?"
God replied, "I did. I kept sending men to rape you, but you kept on choosing to destroy my creations by having an abortion."
Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road?
To get to the dark side.
Why did ItsFunneh go on the road? She so Draco looking at a car then the car runs over him, sad Draco.
"Have you driven through Dealey Plaza? It will blow your mind."
~John F. Kennedy
A man hits a woman with his car. Whose fault was it?
The man, why was he driving in the kitchen?