Road jokes
Why did the straight white caucasian male cross the road?
Because a black person was approaching.
Why did the woman cross the road?
What’s she doing out of the kitchen in the first place?
What did the duck do when he crossed the road?
The duck jumped into a pool of ant piles! 💀💀
While I was walking on the road, a cat crossed my road, and 5 min later I found it fell in the gutter.
What does a car have when it's very itchy?
A road rash.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
'Cause she didn't wear a seatbelt.
What did the stop sign say to the street sign when he couldn't read a map?
"Can you give me some pointers?"
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
He got hit!
How did Helen Keller drive?
One hand on the wheel, one hand on the road.
One time, I was working this steamroller when the guy who I squashed farted.
I guess that’s what you call “FLAT”ulence.
Why did the disabled kid cross the road?
(Why?)
He can't.
Teacher says, "Okay class, today we're gonna talk about what everyone wants to be when they grow up." Little Johnny, how about you go first."
Little Jonny: "I want to be a speed bump when I grow up!"
Q: What did the stop light say to the other stop light?
A: Stop looking, I’m changing!
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To go to Chick-fil-A.
A man got pulled over, and the policeman had stepped out and said, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
The man said, "I was trying to catch up with the traffic."
The officer said, "There is no traffic."
The man said, "Exactly, that’s how far behind I am!"
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find their way to the store to see their dad.
I saw an orphan on the road. I asked him if he's an orphan. The kid says, "Yeah, what gave it away?"
I say, "Your parents."
Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.
T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she wanted to have an affair with the rooster.
I was sitting in traffic the other day.
Probably why I got run over.