the toothbrush Says'' i have the worst job in the whole world''. the toilet paper behind him''yeah right''.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family. Right in front of his stupid face.
Why did the rapper bring a map to the studio?
To find the right direction for his FLOW
Why did the skeleton never get cold? Because it went right through him!
There was a man. He took a right. He took another right. He took a last right. Why did he stop?
I asked my mom if I was adopted. She said no, "Why the fuck would I adopt you?" and I said "I'm gonna kill myself," and she also said, "Make sure you do it right this time."
Alright, I'm gonna make like a tree and leaf.
*****You have to leave right after you tell this joke.****
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
Yo momma's armpits stink so bad she made Right Guard turn to left.
Me: Am actually happy right now.
Life: Lol one sec.
What did the undershirt say to the T-shirt when they were fighting?
"If you don't shut up right now, you're gonna lose your shirt!!!"
Get it?
You went the wrong way. Always choose the right path.
Are you a gravestone?
Because I really wish you were on top of me right now!
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
What's the difference between pizza deliveries and the Twin Towers?
Pizza deliveries get their orders right.
I arrived at basketball and I asked little Jimmy if he brought the basketballs, and he said, "Nope, but I got two right here!"
How many hookers fit in a Cadillac?
About 4 in the trunk if you stack 'em right.
Why was the noble gas not emo?
Because they were thinking RIGHT.
Are you serious right now, bro?
Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.
Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.
