Riddle jokes
What starts off fun and ends in bankruptcy?
UNPROTECTED SEX.
Little Johnny and his teacher were telling each other jokes and riddles. His teacher asked, "Three birds were sitting on a wire, a hunter shot one. How many are left?" Little Johnny replied, "None, because the sound would scare the other two away." His teacher said, "No, but I like the way you think!"
Little Johnny replied, "Alright, now I have one for you. What goes in dry and hard and comes out soft and hard?" His teacher was shocked and said, "Little Johnny!" He replied, "It's gum! But I like the way you think!"
Why does a milking stool only have 3 legs? -- Because the cow has the udder.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
Who's the Roblox YouTuber that always sees Among Us and says "stupid"?
What is the road on a hill?
Hillside.
What’s loud, red and goes at 200mph?
Paul Walker’s Porsche.
Mia’s mother has 5 kids: Lilly, Abby, Alexa, Mila, and.... Q: Who is last? A: Mia.
Knock, knock. Who’s there? Little old lady. Little old lady who? Little old lady, you don’t need to yodel about it!
What do you call a pig in a blanket?
My wife on a cold day.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
What has 2 arms, 2 legs, 2 eyes, 2 breasts for milking, and a hole to fill with my 9 inches?
A sexy female.
What's the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
One of them you'll see in a while, and the other one you'll see later.
What's long, white, and thick? My dick.
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
What’s black, white, and red all over?
An ethnic orgy.
What is black, white, and red all over?
A sunburnt zebra.
20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.
How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)
3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)
Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.
What do you call a deer that has no eye? No-eye deer!
What's simultaneously up and down?
A retard on a plane.