Restaurant jokes
You walk into a McDonald's and you ask for some extra mayo, and they put too much on there.
I say I didn't order a "McCumshot."
You are so fat that the waiter said to you every time: "Sorry for your weight" instead of "Sorry for the wait."
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Here is a story, my best friend was Chinese, his name was Chong-king. I took him to a restaurant one day and he said, "I am Chong-king." I said I know your name is Chong-king, within a few minutes he just randomly died making weird noises and turning blue by every second.
Anyone know what happened?
An Indian kid walked into the shop and had a curry down because they had no naan bread in stock.
Someone asked me, "How would you like your steak cooked?"
I said, "On a stove!"
Where do orphans go to get a happy meal?
Orph-Donald's.
What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone-appetit!
We were going to McDonald's, but we ran into your hairline!
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Waitress: What can I get for you?
Me: I'll have a steak.
Waitress: How would you like it?
Me: Immediately!
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but it came plain.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."
What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?
Panera sped.
"Mitchnite burger."
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car? IHOP
What's the name of a cannibal's favorite all-you-can-eat buffet? Planned Parenthood!