Restaurant jokes
Why are french fries rude?
McDonald's sweet chili chicken one.
At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. "She must have COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. "'Cause she clearly has no taste." She responded.
What do you call a Panera Bread you write with?
Panera lead.
What’s something you can say to a waiter, but not your wife?
"Does this come with anything?"
What did the pimp order at the Chinese restaurant?
He ordered some cock-bang-ho.
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
What's Peter Pan's favorite place to eat out?
Wendy's?
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?
My mom told me that she and the owner of a Chinese restaurant made a deal. Now we get free Chinese food. So I ask my mom why do we get free Chinese food? Then my mom said, "I love him long time."
Yo' mama sometimes always happens to let you know you're back in New York -- like the way people order in a restaurant: "Could you take my order before Jesus gets back? What's the matter with you? I've evolved into another species here, you understand? I can't eat clam chowder no more. I gotta see the cyborg menu, you understand?"
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
My friend talking to fat boi: "I can order you at McDonald's: Double Big Mac, triple quarter pounder cheeseburger."
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said "Chinese food," so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Indian," so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
Hello. What can I get you? A knife, mustard, Marella, gorilla?
Dear Victims... äh Passengers, we are flying now from Ryadh to New York. Amazing Building... äh Amazing City. There's online, but 2000 there were two Towers... äh Restaurants. We hijack the plane... äh Hi Jack. Jack is my co-pilot, and I said hello. Don‘t scream... History Repea... äh... History never comes back, we are now flying back to the Airport. 💀
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Today I ate out my girlfriend... Jeffrey Dahmer style.