Restaurant jokes
Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.
A man walks into a restaurant. The waitress hands him a menu and it says: "Hot dog: $2, Hamburger: $5, Blowjob: $10."
He asks the waitress, "Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?"
She says, "Yes, I am."
He tells her, "Good. Can you go wash your goddamn hands? Because I want a hot dog."
I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.
I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.
A chicken walks into a bar.
He orders Dr. Pepper.
He then lays a good scrambled egg.
My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.
Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!
What’s black and long?
The Chick-fil-A line.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
Me running from the table where the Emo table with a happy meal.
If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?
My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.
"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.
"Why?" I asked.
My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"
You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.
What would you like as your last meal?
Fried chicken. Extra crispy.
Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.
What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?
Panera fed.
Credit to RogueRobot for this one:
What does Panera sleep in?
Panera bed.
What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?
A Panera med.
What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?
Panera said.
Your hairline goes so far back that Crown Burger was Crown Sandwiches.
A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"
A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"