Restaurant

Restaurant Jokes

Soup

A guy walks into a restaurant and orders turtle soup. The waiter hollers, "One turtle soup!"

A moment later, the guy calls the waiter over and says, "I’ve changed my mind, I would like pea soup." The waiter hollers, "Hold the turtle, and make it pea!"

Waiter

If you're waiting for a waiter at a restaurant, aren't you the waiter?

Fat

You're so fat that when you got to McDonald's, they had to call Wendy's for backup.

Wife

My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me.

"She obviously has COVID," my wife said.

"Why?" I asked.

My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste!"

Meal

What would you like as your last meal?

Fried chicken. Extra crispy.

Steak

Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”

Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”

Chef: “Why thank you.”

Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”

Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”

Orphan

Q: Why do orphans work at Olive Garden?

A: Because when you're there, you're family.

Grasshopper

A grasshopper walked into a bar and sat down at the counter.

The bartender looked at him and said, "We have a drink named after you." The grasshopper replied, "Who names a drink Steve?"

Rapper

Why did the rapper go to the seafood restaurant?

Because he heard they had PHAT BASS.

Zoo

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.