Restaurant jokes

I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

Panera Bread.

What do you call it when a man gets high in Panera Bread?

Panera sped.

What do cannibals call a person that is running?

Fast food.

What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?

"Can I have a bodybag?"

What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

Yo mama so poor that when she went to KFC, she had to lick other people's fingers.

I'm 43 and my date is 19. A man rudely comes up to our table and calls me a pedophile. I told him to fuck off, this is our 10th anniversary.

Person 1: "I love KFC."

Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"

Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"

Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"

Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"

Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"

Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."

Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

I like my women like I like my steak...

Bloody.

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

You look like a burger.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.