Restaurant Jokes

I went to McDonald's and I saw a line of fat people because they were selling free hamburgers.

What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!

What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?

A Topping.

Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.

I had a joke about pizza, it's just too cheesy.

What do you call Dominos when it doesn't know how to cook pizza?

Domi-don't-knows...

A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.

He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”

The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.

The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”

I like my women like I like my steak...

Bloody.

What do you call an epileptic midget that works at Little Caesars?

Little Seizures.

You look like a burger.

Worst jokes ever? More like I killed an old man in 2012 in Oklahoma City at that nasty Red Lobster, not the one near the freeway, and hid the body in a creek!

What do you call it when you're dead because of that one drink in Panera Bread? Panera dead.

I was the manager at a McDonald’s in Turin when I saw Penaldo walk in and submit a job application. I asked him to show me his skills and experience, but he just started diving and asking for pens and tap-ins. I was confused until Penaldo told me that’s all he knows how to do.

I remember the time that Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... it was a short episode. Too bad he couldn’t find any.

A chicken walks into a bar.

He orders Dr. Pepper.

He then lays a good scrambled egg.

My favorite sex position is the McDonald's.

Ba da ba ba ba, I'm lovin' it!

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

What do you call a Panera Bread doctor?

A Panera med.

Credit to my boy tippecanoe3 for this joke.

What do you call it when Panera isn’t hungry?

Panera fed.

Credit to RogueRobot for this one:

What does Panera sleep in?

Panera bed.

What is it called when you talk in Panera Bread?

Panera said.