Restaurant jokes
Yo mama so fat that when the cashier at KFC asked her what size bucket she wants, she said "the one on the roof."
What happens after you eat at a combination Chinese-German restaurant?
An hour later, you're hungry—for power!
What did one plate say to the other plate?
"Dinner's on me."
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after, I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
Why can the orphan only go to restaurants?
Because they can't have homemade meals.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
Man: How do you prepare your chicken?
Waiter: Nothing special, we just tell them they’re going to die.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
What type of pizza do they serve on an airplane?
Plane pizza.
What was the last pizza order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes.
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What do you call a Panera Bread with hair?
Panera Hair.
Mom: Hey, there's IHOP.
Kid: You hop to.
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.