why do dwarfs hate Fast food Restaurants? Cause most of them have Medium and large
A kid goes in to a restaurant without parents and a waitress came up and said you have to leave this is a family restaurant
Did you hear about the restaurant there putting on the moon Good food but no atmosphere
Did you hear about the new Oasis restaurant?
Every time you order soup, you got a roll with it.
I would like to complain about the new sushi restaurant at Gatwick Airport. Although there were large portions going round on the conveyor, they did taste a bit like luggage.
I arrived at a restaurant early and manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said I don’t mind and he said OK. Take these trays to table 9.
I went to a restaurant and a waiter took my order. She had two black eyes, so I ordered real slow.
Because obviously she doesn’t listen
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green." "I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship." "You're very pretty for a Purple girl." "We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!" "Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people." "You 2-headed people are so stupid!" "No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes." "Get out of my store you grigger!" "The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
*I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time" so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.― Steven Wright
Two kids were sitting at restaurant one said could I please have some water I am feeling a little HORSE. The other said Animal Puns? TOUCAN play at that game.
Jeffrey dahmer was eating at 5 guys before it was a restaurant
Would you like to try African food??
They would too.
On 9/11 the Twin Towers ordered 3 pepperoni pizzas, one came in plain, the other came in late, the third went to the wrong address.
So I went out to eat the other day, and the waitress came up to me and asked if I wanted a glass of water. I said "Yes ma'am." She said "Oh honey, you don't have to call me ma'am, I'm not that old." I said "Okay, thanks bitch."
I was out for dinner with my 19 year old girlfriend. I being 42, had many people shouting at me, scolding me, calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Where does a girl with one leg work? IHOP.
What do you call an all you can eat buffet for a Pedophile? A school bus.
Why did the chicken go to KFC... to visit his family
Helen Keller walked into a bar. And a table. And chairs.
A man walks into a diner one day, walks up to the counter, and proceeds to order a bowl a chili.
The waitress says that the man sitting next to him just ordered the last bowl they had. That man was just sitting there, not eating the chili.
After watching him not eating for a while, the first man asks him, "Are you going to eat that?"
The second man replies, "No, you can have it if you want."
So the first man takes the bowl and starts eating.
About halfway through the bowl, he's chewing when he feels a crunch. He looks down only to see half a dead rat sitting in the chili.
He immediately throws all of it up, back into the bowl.
The second man looks at him and says, "Yeah, that's about as far as I got too."
