Helen Keller walked into a bar. And a table. And chairs.
A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.
The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.
The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”
The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.
The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.
The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!
The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Why did the duck not enjoy his restaurant date?
Because he didn't want to see the bill.
What’s a cannibals favourite takeaway shop
The orphanage
why can't emos work at a restaurant. Because they cut to much
Did you hear about the new emo pizza? it cuts itself.
McDonalds And the Twin towers are alike McDonalds has a drive through and the Twin Towers has a fly through
Your hairline shape is so badly shaped like a M, me and my friends thought it was McDonalds.
What’s the darkest point in the universe? The inside of a KFC
I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
Curry.
What do you call two Mexicans at a country restaurant? "Two beaners in a cracker house."
I asked my girlfriend what she wanted to eat. She said nothing, so I took her to Africa
Kfc proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids.😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer
Where do feminists go when they die "hell's kitchen"
What do you call a knight in a cannibal village? -- Canned food.
"Waiter, my steak is too skinny." "It's a strip steak, sir." "At these prices, it should not only strip, but sing and dance too!"
boss: you're fired
me: *turns in my gun and my badge*
boss: you're a waiter where did you get those
What did the autistic kid order at a restaurant?
A disorder
A man asked his girlfriend what she wanted to eat one night, and she said Chinese food, so he took her to China. The next night, he asked her again. She said Indian, so he took her to India. The next night, he asked her again. She said, "Nothin'," so he took her to Africa.
