I called the Chinese takeaway yesterday. A man picked up the phone and said: "Hello! I am Wan Kin, the chef." I said that I'll come back later.
Ever tried Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
"Oh, waiter! Waiter!"
"Yes, sir?"
"Do you have frog's legs?"
"Why, yes."
"Good. Now hop along and get me a steak!"
In honor of Diddy:
The ice cream machine at McDonald's now works!
What is a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Five Guys.
Welcome to the roadkill cafe, where yesterday's crash is today's cash.
Welcome to Morgan's Morgue and Pizzeria where yesterday's loss is today's sauce!
Q: What kind of club do roosters go to? A: The Chicken Strip.
I made that one up.
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
Q: How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?
A: He forgot to wrap his Whopper.
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Who works at IHOP? A girl with one leg.
P1: Why did the chicken cross the road?
P2: To get to the other side DUH?!?
P1: No dumbass, it's to get run over because he has depression, a chronic illness, and his father left him for a good for nothing pimp that doesn’t even give a shit about how he feels. (Kinda like me).
P2: Holy shit are u ok? *Some random eavesdropping fucker dials 911 in a hurry*
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Me and my wife were out at dinner. Me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep. It really ruined our 10th anniversary.
Q: What do Burger King and Michael Jackson have in common?
A: They put meat on five-year-old buns.
Why can't orphans play at a McDonald's play place? They don't have parent supervision.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite place to eat?
A: Schools because there is a wide variety of choices.
I took my girlfriend to a Chinese restaurant. One hour after ordering, I went to ask the chef what was going on. That was until I heard barking from the kitchen.
In honor of Michael Jackson, Vienna Beef, as well as other establishments, are introducing the Jackson dog. It's a 50 year old sausage between two 7 year old buns, with everything on it.
