Restaurant jokes
What's red, green, and slimy and slides down the chip shop window?
Abortion of chips.
McDonald's worker be like, "Hello, would you like a Mc-Dick?" (You looked down) You: "Uhh, where's my dick?"
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Hamburger cheeseburger Big Mac Whopper.
Chef: “How did you enjoy your steak, sir?”
Customer: “I asked for it medium rare, but it’s well done!”
Chef: “Why thank you.”
Customer: “You don’t understand, the steak is well done!”
Chef: “Of course it is, I made it.”
My face when my mom said we could go to McDonalds
Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?
Good food, but no atmosphere.
Where do terrorists go for food? The Allah snack bar.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
Did you hear about the delivery boy that worked for that Italian Restaurant down the street?
Yeah, he Pasta-Way.
How did the chicken 🐔 feel after escaping the fry cook?
Clucky!
Your mum's so fat that when she goes to KFC, they run out of stock of chicken.
Beef beef beef? TRIPLE ANGUS POUNDER BURGER XDDDDDDDD
Pastor: I don’t normally swear, but tonight I am going to, just for the halibut!
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
Welcome to Joe's pizza, you make 'em, we bake 'em.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
What do rabbits eat for breakfast? IHOP.