Restaurant jokes
What did the customer ask when he went to the cannibal restaurant?
"Who's the special today?"
Things said by racist aliens:
"Some of my best friends are Green."
"I just know that Orange guy stole my spaceship."
"You're very pretty for a Purple girl."
"We know you Tentacletians like to rape everyone with your tentacles!"
"Adax Hitao should have finished off you Bluish people."
"You 2-headed people are so stupid!"
"No Slimatians are allowed in this restaurant because of health codes."
"Get out of my store you grigger!"
"The Plu Plux Plum meeting is tonight! Let's burn some spaceships on the Greenies' lawns!"
What is a gay person's favorite fast food place?
Jack(off) in the Box.
What kind of pizza can't an orphan order?
Familiar pizza.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
I could tell a joke about pizza, but it's too cheesy.
At the drive-thru window:
"I'd like a Big Mac without soup, please!"
"We don't serve soup here!"
"Well, I didn't order any!"
Bob's Family Restaurant:
Orphans:
:(
Let me tell you a joke about pizza!
Never mind...
It's too cheesy.
Jeffrey Dahmer was eating at 5 Guys before it was a restaurant.
Something you can say about a restaurant, but not your partner:
"So you’re open 24 hours a day?"
What do you call it when Panera Bread is running away?
Panera fled.
What is China's favorite restaurant?
The Pet Store.
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
'Cause she will let it go.
Your mama is so fat that all restaurants say, "Maximum weight 240KG or your mum!"
Why can't Tottenham open a restaurant? Because they have no silverware.
I have returned. Anyways, what do you call it when you're actually in Panera Bread, being in Panera Bread?
Why do Catholic Irishmen in Ireland have a glory hole in the men's restroom inside their restaurants so they can give Irish kisses on Saint Patrick's Day?
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast any time," so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
— Steven Wright
Taco Bell makes you crappy.