Restaurant jokes

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Just ask before you pay.

What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?

Two large planes.

* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?

Frisk: One knife, plz.

Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.

Waiter: You eat a knife?

Frisk: Yes.

*Waiter asking for one knife*

Waiter: Here you go.

Frisk: Thanks you.

Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.

When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.

“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”

Dating 101:

Here's what you do:

1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.

What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?

Panera instead.

What do you call a Chinese assassin?

Chinese takeout.

What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?

I'm ta ping it, some ting won.

What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?

Panera Read.

You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?

What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?

Panera Fred.

Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."

Me: "I like it well done."

Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"

The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.

Say "I hop in this:".

I made you eat your peas! 🤦

What's long and black?

The line at Popeyes.

What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?

Panera Red.

A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"

And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."

What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!

What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"