Restaurant jokes
What did the salad say to the chef? LETTUCE GO!!!
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
The other day my wife said, "Take me someplace I have never been before!" I said, "Why don't you try the kitchen?"
A couple enters a Chinese restaurant and takes their seats.
The waiter asks, "想吃什么 (Xiang Chi Shen Ma)?"
The wife responds, "吃鸡巴 (Chi Ji Ba)!"
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
Your mama is so fat, she only knows three words: KFC.
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
Where does a Muslim like to go and eat?
Allah's snackbar!
When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant.
Did you get seafood without me?
What do lesbians cook for dinner?
They don't, they just eat out.
Have you ever had Ethiopian food?
Don't worry, neither have they.
Buy KFC = 1 more orphan in our fryers.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
Why should you never give Elsa a balloon?
'Cause she will let it go.
Did you know that McDonald's have a new McScully burger?
It's a 59-year-old piece of meat in a 2-year-old bun.
Person 1: "I love KFC."
Person 2: "Yeah, me too!"
Person 1: "How many have you gotten?"
Person 2: "How am I supposed to remember how many buckets of chicken I have ordered!?"
Person 1: "Chicken? What chicken? What do you think KFC stands for?"
Person 2: "Kentucky Fried Chicken?"
Person 1: "What? I thought it meant kidnapping foster children."
Person 2: "BLOODY WHATT??"
Papa John's pizzeria and abortion clinic. You make 'em, we bake 'em.
Ayo, the pizza here... OH NlGGA! AHHHHH!... Augh, my ears burn!
Little boy: Momma?
Mom: Yes, my dear.
Little boy: One day I wanna work in McDonald's.
Mom: Why!?
Little boy: Just to see if their ice cream machine is actually broken.