Restaurant jokes
When ordering food at a new restaurant, my wife asked the waiter what they do to prepare their chicken.
“Nothing special,” he explained. “We just tell them they’re going to die.”
* Sans at Sans' favorite restaurant* Sans: Hey, Frisk, what do you eat today?
Frisk: One knife, plz.
Sans: Ok, one knife, plz.
Waiter: You eat a knife?
Frisk: Yes.
*Waiter asking for one knife*
Waiter: Here you go.
Frisk: Thanks you.
What do you call the bell at the Asian restaurant?
I'm ta ping it, some ting won.
You telling me Julius Caesar, who has been dead for well over 50 years, made this salad?
What do you call it when you choose Panera Bread over something else?
Panera instead.
Memes
Person 1: “How many ph vids have you watched today?”
Person 2: “Seven.”
Person 1: “What the fuck, dude.”
Person 2: “I know, right? I’ve gotten seven ads for Pizza Hut in the past hour.”
(Based on an encounter I had recently)
What do you call a Chinese assassin?
Chinese takeout.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
A burger walks into a bar and says, "Hi sir, can I have a glass of water?"
And the waiter says, "I'm sorry sir, we don't serve food here."
What's long and black?
The line at Popeyes.
What do you call it when a guy named Fred enters Panera Bread?
Panera Fred.
What do you call it when Panera Bread gets painted red?
Panera Red.
Waiter: "Here you go, one medium-rare steak."
Me: "I like it well done."
Waiter: "Thanks, that means a lot!"
The only thing they can see are their chopsticks.
Say "I hop in this:".
I made you eat your peas! 🤦
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Dating 101:
Here's what you do:
1. Dinner. 2. Kiss. 3. Movie. 4. Sex. 5. Bring her back home. 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting.
Wanted to go to the zoo, it was too packed, so I went to KFC instead. Their monkey enclosure is better anyway.
What did the Twin Towers order for dinner?
Two large planes.