Response jokes

"Why do people call Americans excessive?"

"It was probably because of WWII."

"Oh, you mean the war where America responded to the destruction of several ships and a harbor and the deaths of a little over a thousand by completely flattening two cities and killing hundreds of thousands of people?"

Where did Tanner go during the 9/11 terrorist attack?

Everywhere.

Son: What's for dinner tonight?

Mom: Steak!

Son: Mom, you know I only eat veggies, so what's for me?

Mom: HUNGER!

Why do 911 jokes always fail?

They always crash and burn!

I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.

I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"

And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"

And I said: "Your parents."

When someone says: "You're a mistake."

Say: "The only mistake I see is right in front of me."

So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.

The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"

The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"

My parents said to me, "Whenever you say sorry to someone and they say, 'It's okay,' it's really not."

So I said, "Okay."

What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?

"It is ok, I forgive you."

Why is the Moon red today?

The reason why the Moon takes on a reddish color during totality is a phenomenon called Rayleigh scattering. It is the same mechanism responsible for causing colorful sunrises and sunsets, and for the sky to look blue.

You don't need brains to be a Boss.

When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."

The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."

The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."

Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.

Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.

If you tell me to get a life, you're telling me to get a life better than yours!

Please write your comment.

But do not use words like monkey, donkey, loser, etc.

My mom said, "Don't jump off, we need you."

I said, "No," then I jumped off a building and died.

If an old person tells you what to do just say, "At least my parents are alive!"

What does an orphan say after a kid makes a "yo mama" joke?

"I don’t have a mama."

When someone asks you for a beef (fight), just say you're a vegetarian.

It took Jesus 3 days to respond.

Worst lag ever!

Rapist: Rape doesn't hurt anybody.

Victim: (Implied response indicating the rapist is wrong)

Have you ever said no? Did they keep going?