Request jokes

Hey, what's the puniest pun you can come up with?

Three nuns are on their way up to heaven after having been involved in a terrible minibus crash on the Italian Alps that killed them and the driver (he went the other direction!).

As they're approaching the Pearly Gates to be interviewed by St. Peter, they are requested by an attendant to form a single line and wait. Sister Agnes is first, Sister Bernadette behind her and Sister Carmel on the end.

Finally, St. Peter approaches the nuns to determine their worthiness for entry to Heaven.

He says to the first nun: "Sister Agnes, have you ever seen the penis of a man?"

Sister Agnes bursts into tears and says: "Yes, St. Peter, I have, but please don't let this prevent me from entering the Kingdom of Heaven."

St. Peter says: "Never fear, my child. Say a thousand Hail Marys and then go over to that font of Holy Water and wash your eyes out, then you shall enter the Kingdom of Heaven."

Sister Carmel sees what's going on and taps Sister Bernadette on the shoulder, somewhat urgently.

"Pssst - hey Bernie"!, she says.

Sister Bernadette asks: "What is it?" A little annoyed.

Sister Carmel says: "Do you mind if we swap places"?

Sister Bernadette replies: "What for"?

Sister Carmel says: "Well, I wouldn't mind gargling before you stick your ass in there!"

Anyone up for some Fortnite?

This is so sad, Alexa, play Despacito.

Doctor: I will deliver the baby right away.

Dad: I would like the baby to have a liver.

People are really upset with the Trump-Biden debate.

So much so, that Chris Wallace has requested to change his name.

Speak in AAVE, Mr. Bear...

Don't bully.

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please hold its hand.

What did the soccer player say to the flight attendant? "Please put me in coach!"

So a girl goes to Santa in the mall, and Santa asks what she would like for Christmas. So the kid says: “a little sister”. So then Santa says: “bring me your mother!”

Sub to Hi, I'm Chiranjay!

This boy was in school one day when he became desperate to go to the bathroom.

So he asked the teacher, "May I use the bathroom?"

The teacher replied, "No, not unless you say your alphabet."

So the boy said "a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z."

When he finished, the teacher asked him, "Where's the p?"

The boy replied, "Half way down my leg..."

like this if you have ever been abused.

Y'all need to add more jokes.

I do not have enough information to complete this request. Can you please provide the joke?

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

My grandma said, "Hey, you want a Butterfinger cause I do?"

Me: Grandpa's in the kitchen if you want a finger.

I played Clash of Clans, and when I requested troops, all I got were some Muslim wall breakers.

To RANDYYYY,

Hi Randy, this is ALYA. I don't want to fight with you. If you're an orphan and you do know about your past, you probably get sad, right? Well, these jokes just bring up the bad times for me.

-ALYA with love