New Replacement Jokes

If I ever find the doctor who screwed up my limb replacement surgery...I’ll kill him with my bear hands.

I’m really good at algebra, I can replace your X without even asking Y

What do moms want for Mother's Day? Replacement silverware.

How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.

My Mrs is going to hit the roof when she realises I've replaced the bed with a trampoline !

What mistake did the manager of the twin towers make?

He replaced all the window cleaners with 2 commercial jets

What did the grim reaper say when his favorite car commercial came on? "Safe life repair, safe life replace!"

replace the v in venus wit a p

What does an orphan and a wheelchair have in common?

They can both be replaced.

i replaced jingle bells with jiggle balls... jiggle balls jiggle balls jiggle all the way! oh what fun it is to ride on jiggly balls today!

your mum is so fat when she slept on the bed the bed cracked and they had to replace it by a dinasour.

If you ever feel useless... Just remember that If you ever feel useless...

Just remember that it took the US 4 presidents, Trillions of dollars, thousands of lives, and 20 years to replace the Taliban with...

the Taliban

When I was a kid, my hamster died so my mum bought a new identical one, hoping I wouldn't notice. It didn't matter anyway, since I beat that one to death too

Watersharky Music Productions Presents As It Was by Harry Styles Holdin' me back Gravity's holdin' me back I want you to hold out the palm of your hand Why don't we leave it at that? Nothin' to say When everything gets in the way Seems you cannot be replaced And I'm the one who will stay, oh-oh-oh In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same Answer the phone "Harry, you're no good alone Why are you sitting at home on the floor? What kind of pills are you on?" Ringin' the bell And nobody's coming to help Your daddy lives by himself He just wants to know that you're well, oh-oh-oh In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was In this world, it's just us You know it's not the same as it was As it was, as it was You know it's not the same Go home, get ahead, light-speed internet I don't wanna talk about the way that it was Leave America, two kids follow her I don't wanna talk about who's doin' it first