Remembering jokes

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

The parents remember 9/11.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

Remember kids, ejaculate, then evacuate.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.

"Know, know how there."

"Lesh, lesh how can you at lesh remember my name?"

So a guy gets a motorcycle with authentic leather seats, and the dealer tells him, "Dude, the rain will ruin the seats. Get it under something if it starts raining, and worst-case scenario, put Vaseline all over the seats to make it waterproof." So he goes to his girlfriend's house that night for dinner, and before he goes inside, she says, "Listen, this is your first time meeting my parents. We have a rule: the first one to speak has to do the dishes." So he walks inside and sees a mountain of dishes, over three months' worth, because no one has spoken, and the stench is awful.

During dinner, he concocted a plan to get someone to speak, so he started doing all of this crazy shit to try and get someone to speak. Not a peep. Eventually, he grabs his girlfriend, bends her over, and starts going to town. Still nothing. The parents are outraged but not speaking because they don't want to do the dishes. After about a minute of this, he walks away and does the same to her mum and starts going to town. Now the dad is pissed and just staring him down with daggers. At that moment, it starts to rain. He remembers his motorcycle is out in the rain, and he grabs the Vaseline out of his pack pocket, and the dad goes, "FINE! I'LL DO THE DISHES!"

I hope I'm not a big pain, but Jordan C, please stop bothering me about my age! I know I am 8 years old, but enough.

Then you make jokes about how smart I am and intimidate me because of my name. I don't remember intimidating you for anything. So please, with all due respect, stop.

PS It's not for drama, it's because you're bullying me for nothing. I come here just to joke or be nice to people, not for the drama. So please again. Stop. That is all I ask.

Thank you.

Why did Sally drown in the pool?

She had no arms, remember.

An orphan walks on a path asking for his mum. Soon he remembers he doesn't have a mum.

(Also, I had sex with ur mum. She was screaming "daddy~")

Fritz Cheng was asked to write three articles on the subject. He went to his grandmother and advised her: "Question: Kill people! I am sorry, Mr. Fritz, I am looking for his brother—what do you suggest?"

Brother: "I'm Superman. I am Superman!"

Fritz remembers entering the room. That's Alfredo's question in front of the TV: "Do you have any advice?"

Fritz tells a story from his school days. "Remember our words?" said Professor Fleck. "An artist? Is that true? Frison, who are you?"

"I am Superman. I'm Superman," he said. "I hope to meet the president."

Remember that 18 year old girl I set you up with?

Why not?

Too old.

Why was the Milky Way remembered...

Because it's... DELICIOUS!

Hang in there, ya emo bastards! Remember, you could always be dead. Oh, too soon?

No wonder they wanna die so much. I'd wanna die too if I was a freak who listens to Black Veil Brides!

Anybody got a knife? I mean, an emo dildo?

We hired this boy to pick up dog poop. We just remembered that we don't have a dog.