Remembering jokes

I love to decorate my room because it's a great way to express your heart, though I just remembered, my room is pretty black and empty...

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

Anyone remember the following?

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.