Remembering jokes

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

I can’t remember if I already said this or not. I might have already said this. Also, this is a true story.

So, I’m walking into a store in Amish country, and there’s this guy with a bear trap. Then my mom’s friend says, "This guy’s gonna catch some bears." Then the Amish guy stops, looks around, and whispers, “It’s for democrats.”

I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.

Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

Anyone remember the following?

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.

I sat down and reminisced about the past. I remembered all the people I've lost along the way.

Maybe becoming a tour guide wasn't a good idea.

Reminder: Check the fridge, but remember nothing's in there.

One day I visited my friend in a hospital.

I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"

Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.

So, I remember growing my own peanuts really well. There's one that's larger than the others. I can't keep my eye off of it.

I'm scared that it moves at night.

I'm being serious. I literally can't keep my eye off it.

I've been looking for my parents for years.

For the life of me, I can't remember where I hid their bodies.

"You think THAT'S bad?!? Remember the time I was in Paris with Donny de Francovich?"

I’ll always remember my father’s last words: “I’m gonna sleep for a little.”