Remembering jokes

I went to ask my friend's mom if I could have a sleepover.

Then I remembered they did not have a mom or dad.

Last night I remember partying with friends to find blood on my nightstand.

Moments after, I scolded my friends to put my alarm clock back where they found it.

I’ll never forget the first time we met, but I’ll keep trying.

Lol, I keep stealing my dad's medication money, and the best part is he never remembers.

Seems very long. You won't remember the telephone number...

I remember it like this from school days in Ireland.

Dolly Parton is shopping for a new bra. A lady says, "Your size is 69." Dolly says, "No way, that's too too too (222) big." So she goes to the doctor. "Doc, I need something to make my boobs smaller." "Here, take (51) pills for 6 days (x6)," and so she did. Days later, she ran back to the doc, "Jesus Christ doctor, look what happened. I'm BOOBLESS!" 55378008 upside down.

When you're asked to tell a crazy story, but the first thing that comes up to your mind is a suicide attempt:

"Oh, I don't remember anything in particular. 😅😀"

Tell an orphan "your mom", but then remember he doesn't have one.

You got no lotion to masturbate, then you remember there's some leftover porridge in the fridge. 😌🤎😇

I remember I met an orphan. He asked, "Can I suck your thumb?" I said, "Why?" Because "that'd be pig."

I will remember my auntie's last words: "If you shoot me, your p-nis is small!"

(gun shot)

Anybody remember 9/11? Cause I sure do, and oh boy was my father a good pilot!💥

I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"

She said, "Yes."

"Knock knock."

I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"

I'll remember my last words... "Sorry, I'm not sorry!"

I took my friend skydiving once, and he jumped out of the plane without a parachute. Then I remembered he was emo.

I remember when I saw my dad's penis for the first time.

I said, "Dad, don't text me shit like that."

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?

Four—one to hold the bulb and three to try to remember the combination.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and orphans?

The parents remember 9/11.

Do you remember blowing bubbles when you were younger?

Well, Bubbles is back in town and was asking about you!

Anyone remember the following?

Her name was Lola.

She was a loner.

At the Copa.

Then I saw her,

And I got a boner.

The next morning,

She couldn't remember if I banged her.