Doctor: Hands husband his baby.
Doctor: I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it.
Husband: Then give me the one she made.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
I'm having sex with your mother. That makes me better than you.
*guitar solo*
Fine, then if I can't do Gwen, then I guess it is Tenya and Kenya. #Twin sisters! Tenya and Kenya!
I was listening to WAP in my car with my four-year-old cousin, and she asked why they don't fix the holes in the house.
Then my fucking boyfriend, what a hoe, was.
When your cousin dies and everybody thinks you're her.
FUCKING MENT
She's a 10, but she doesn't like sex.
Boy, if you don't get your "I'm Burger King with my Burger Queen!"
"You momo joso fat, she went in the ocean and the whales came up to her and started singing, ""We Are Family"" even though you are father than me."
Conor MacGregor to Poirier: "Your wife is your husband!"
(After the fight, or should I say after the fracture.)
Poirier: Really, bitch?
My mom is actually a mum! π±
Oh, Mom, there is poop in the toilet still.
Mom: Oh, that was me and the dog.
Me: Wait, what????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
I ear ass your dad's ass and he likes it.
I once cummed on my boyfriend's dick. { puts an eggplant emoji }
I like to watch porn too ;)
Why did your parents abandon you?
Because the first thing you dad said to be was; "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WIFE."
"Me lava you sooo much, cutie cake. I know I'm so so so cuteee. Lava you girl... ummmma ummmaaa. I know where you liveee kutty."
Roses are red, her name is Lily, she bends over, and said "HARDER, DADDY!"
William Spiser is SOOOOOOO gay and likes MEN!
Why did the boy kill his girlfriend?
Because he had a crush on her.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.
My ex's love for me :(
I still love the dude sadly, but I won't take him back.
