Relationship jokes

You: Its nighttime, shouldn't we be heading to bed?

Boy Roommate: Ok, are you Top or Bottom?

You: Uhhhhhhh

Boy Roommate: No dumby, bunk beds.

You: Thank God.

Boy Roommate: But if you wanna, we can...

You: *faints*

penis.

I like penis.

Lesbian stands for:

L: Loving

E: Extra

S: Shitty

B: Bitches

I: I

A: Am attracted to

N: Nice girls.

You're so hot when your girlfriend tries to suck your cock, it burns her mouth.

I like my vegetables like I like my women: forgotten at the bottom of my freezer.

Did you know that "girlfriend" at the end, it starts with "end." So does "boyfriend," and "friend" have "end" at the end of it, but "family" at the end it "ily" I love you.

Prostitutes remind me of chewese.

Yeah, she said, "Do you love me?" I said, "Only partly. I love my bed and my mommy. I'm sorry."

If Selena Gomez wasn't really single after Justin Bieber dumped her, I would wait for her to come by my house, take her fine ass in my room, close my door, and give her some sex medicine until she masturbates.

What did the man say to his wife, wanna play?

I said to my wife that she's so ugly that she threw a boomerang and it never came back.

I like wine how I like my woman.

4 year old locked in a basement.

My girlfriend called me a pedophile... That's a big word for a 1st grader.

Max Alexander Heart is adopted.

Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.

Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.

His wife shut off the internet.

What did the boyfriend say to his girlfriend?

Why does the sun get a lot of girls? Because it's hot.

All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.