Relationship jokes
Why can't melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Homie: Let's meet.
Skrr: It's 🔥🌭
Meaning: It's hot [🔥] dawg [🌭]!
I didn't put my kids up for adoption.
What's the difference between me calling my girlfriend a pedophile and her calling me one?
Oh wait, I am because she's 10.
My mom
Ur family reunion, a homosexual communion.
Trystan Leonard is going out with Katelynn O'Toole.
Connor: Hi Mom.
Mom:
Connor: I forgot I'm adopted to 2 dads!
What do you call your son?
An mistake.
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
I can't believe my friends. They killed themselves without me!
Are you from Tennessee, because I eat ass.
Friend: Do you know him?
Other Friend: Know who?
Friend: My dick!
Don't you hate when you have sex with your teacher, then remember you're home schooled?
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Where did the cows go to a date?
To the moo-vies!
Spy: Hahaha.
Me: What?
Spy: Time to pick up your mother.
Me: Oh no....
What’s the best thing about sex with 119 year olds? There are 100 of them.
I carried a magnet, then people found me very attracting.
Why did Playboi Carti’s partner complain about their love life? Because he kept repeating the same track and never reached the climax.