Relationship jokes

Why can't an orphan get married? It doesn't have its parents' blessing.

P.S. My brother made this up when he had no meds... I almost died.

What does ATM stand for?

Answer: Amy’s Terrible Mom.

😂🤣

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You look like Shrek, And you make me peck.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.

My friend tried high-fiving me; I left him hanging.

Yo mama so fat she got married by 20 men, but they think there's only one side of her! I tried making one of my own.

I asked my date to meet me at the gym today. She didn't show up. That's when I knew we weren't gonna work out.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

I saw your mom beat you.

Me and my friend are walking, we see a kid. My friend asks him why he's crying and if he lost his parents. He said, "Yeah." I slapped my friend because we were at an orphanage.

You know, that I see my sister at home from school. She says everyone bullies me. I say, "Because you're a fat a**."

One time I looked out the window and then I saw my sister, and she wasn’t even my sister anymore...

A boy and a girl are showering together. The girl looks down and says to the boy, "Hey, can I touch it?" The boy replies, "Oh hell nah. You already ripped yours off."

Nana when Zane kisses her in her mind: [Insert Chiwawa Scream!]

Say, "Moommy."

My wife told me she was fat and depressed. She asked me to compliment her, so I said, "You have perfect eyesight!"

Today, I asked my phone "Siri" why am I still single, and it activated the front camera.

What do you call your mom?

Monkey.

Your mama is so stupid.

Your dad said, "You're driving me crazy," so your mom handed him the keys and said, "You can drive."

Your mama is so fat, guys have to bring climbing equipment to have sex with her.

Your mama is so stupid. We were playing catch, and I told her to go deep. She grabbed a shovel and dug a hole.