Pick up lines.
"One fish, two fish, three fish, I’m breaking up with you, b*tch!"
"Hey there little mister, I’m dating your sister."
A guy and his girl just finished making love.
Just as they lay next to each other, the girl asks, "Have you thought about any baby names?"
The guy then takes his condom off and ties it, and says, "Well, probably David Copperfield, if he gets out of this!"
What's the difference between your dad and a boomerang?
The boomerang comes back.
Hello! I'm Taylor, and this is my life story with me and my ex girl. So when I was little, I met this girl. Her name was Leah. We were besties for a while until I turned 13. Then I asked if she wanted to date me. She said yes!
But one day, in the middle of school, she was talking to another man!!!!!!! AND THEY HUGGED AND KISSED EACH OTHER ON THE CHEEK!!!!!! Then, she told me she hated me. I was so upset!!!!!!!! Whatever you do, don't follow the ugly rat!!!!!!!!! <3
What do girls and your hairline have in common? They are both receding.
Bro, I saw two dudes kissing LOL, but not regular kissing.
How is sex like air?
It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
What sexual position produces the ugliest kids? Ask your mum!
What’s the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?
A. Condoms have evolved. They’re not so thick and insensitive anymore.
Kylin fucks his sister.
Hey guys, it's Hailey here.
I'ma start off with henlo ;-;
I know you guys aren't going to believe me because of the assholes who were faking to be me, but if you can try to believe me, I'll explain.
So, Jake, we can't really be together anymore, since we no longer can chat. I'm so sorry.
Basically, my parents caught us on here as you realized. Yayyyy.
I don't have time to say anything else. So I've gotta go, but thankyou guys for everything you did for me.
Also, you won't get any response from me so yea. So sorry guys ;-;
I don't think my girlfriend likes it when I take my schizophrenia meds because she always goes away when I take them.
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
