Relationship jokes
His wife shut off the internet.
Ya mum!
I like my women like I like my diving pools.
Wet and deep.
Your dad is your mom.
Rey: Join me, Ben, you don't have to be alone anymore, join me.
Ben: But Rey, I've always been solo.
Highest level of insult by a girl by seeing a guy's dick:
"I can shit bigger logs than that thing of your's" 🤣
While fucking a hot auntie, pressing tightly her boobs and fondling, He: What do you feed your babies? She: Milk and orange juice. He: Wow, which side is orange juice? 😋
Kaden wants to have sex with you.
Your mum lol teehee!
Last time I talked to my girlfriend, she was yelling at me to put the hammer down.
I asked my girlfriend if she was a smoke alarm. She said, "Is it because I warned him when hotness came?" I said, "No, you don’t shut up!"
I like men like I like money, always getting lost under my bed.
I like my lovers like I like my whiskey, 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
My wife is an optimist. Our first night together, she handed me a Magnum XL condom. I didn’t know what to do, so I made her a balloon animal 🎈🦒.
Roses are red.
Grass is green.
I think of you sucking my peen.
A penis has a sad life.
His hair is a mess.
His family is nuts.
His neighbor is an asshole.
His best friend is a pussy.
And his owner beats him.
If I were a party, then anxiety must be the cousin depression felt obligated to bring to the party, and insomnia the little annoying sibling.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
I was fucking this girl, and I started to make her cry.
She mumbled things and squirmed, but I couldn't hear her through the gag I put in her mouth.