Relationship jokes

Y'know what's really sad?

Why break the fourth wall when you can turn the third wheel?

Son: Hey, Dad, why is my name Dick?

Dad: Oh, because a dick fell on you when you were born.

Son: Ohhhhh, so that's why I'm gay.

Why do people have sex? Because they're dumb.

What did the boyfriend say to his girlfriend?

Little Johnny is walking around and peaks in his parents' room, catching them having sex, so he asks, “What are you guys doing?” and they reply “Nothing, nothing! We’re just uh, making cake,” and they send him away.

So he continues walking around and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother’s room, so he walks in and catches his brother and his brother’s girlfriend having sex and then asks him “What are you guys doing?” and his brother yells “Get out! We're making cake!”

So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says “So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night huh!” and she replies “OMG! How'd you know!?!?” and Johnny replies “Because, I licked the icing off the couch” ayyyyyy.

Me and my mom order Chinese food.

My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."

Everybody loves "appreciation." So that's what I named my dick.

Ur mom gay.

I'll never forget my grandfather's last words: "STOP SHAKING THE LADDER, YOU LITTLE CUNT!"

So a kid asks his dad, "Why was I born?"

The dad replies, "I thought that girl was dead!"

If you're ever bored, adopt an orphan. What is he going to do, be kissed by Vedanta?

I caught my sister licking up and down and deep throating a banana. I said, "Why are you doing that for?" She replied, "I'm doing it for practice for your friends."

I told my mum that a few guys tell me that you're a MILF.

My mom said what that is. I reply, "Mom, I'd Like To Fuck." My mum started out to laugh, then she told me, "Well, now you need a new stepdad."

Only one of Kenny's girlfriends has ever said he's good in bed.

But she has to. She's his mom.

Stephen only died because his wife tripped over the power cord.

If you're bored, hump Danny and fuck him. What is he, goons do fuck rock?

A girl comes up to her dad and says, "Can I borrow the car tonight? I want to go to this party." Dad says, "If you give a head job..." The girl says, "You're my dad! How can you say that?" Dad says, "If you want the car..." The girl thinks, "Okay." She starts. Dad says, "That tastes like sh*t." Dad: "Yeah, your brother wanted the car this morning."

"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"

"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."

Knock knock. Who's there? Jo. Jo who? Jo Auntie.

If you're ever bored, jump on Vedanta, what is he going to do, tell his parents? (He probably will.)