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Relationship

Relationship jokes

So I was at the store and I saw a pretty woman, and I said, "Hi."

Quickly, she said, "I am not interested. I have a husband."

And when I saw the woman again, she said, "I need help."

I said, "No, call your husband!" KARMA. 😂😜

My girlfriend is 19 and I'm 29. We go out to eat in a restaurant, but the whole time I have to deal with being accused of being a pedo, being called disgusting and disturbed.

It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary.

What do you do when your sister asks you “Why are you sad?”

Reply back with “Because you were born.”

Daddy bear said, "Somebody's been sleeping in my bed!"

Mummy bear said, "It was probably your whore, Linda!"

Don't adopt people, or else your parents are gonna say you're ACTUALLY adopted, k thx. No jokes anymore, bye.

I was just informed that my ex was stabbed yesterday. Let's just say I quit my job as a butcher.

I just found out my ex got stabbed today... let's just say I lost my job as a butcher.

Once upon a time, there was a man named Daniel. He was blind and deaf, and he worked at a morgue.

So, one time poor Dan got confused and started having sex with the rotting corpse.

He then came home and thought he was at the morgue, so he started disintegrating his sleeping wife.

1. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships.

2. Oh, you’re talking to me? I thought you only talked behind my back.

3. My name must taste good because it’s always in your mouth.

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    • My friend thinks he is funny.

    He told me that the only food that makes you cry is an onion, so I threw a coconut at him.

    So I heard Kenny's mom got moved to a nursing home.

    He'll probably leave her alone now.

    He doesn't eat vegetables.

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    • Men vacuum in the same way that they have sex.

    They just put it in and make some noise for 3 minutes before they collapse on the couch and think that their wife should be really happy.

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