Relationship jokes
I was pretty tight friends with my butt plug. But then we had a falling-out.
I guess age is just a number, but in your boyfriend's case, a personal preference.
I heard you were looking for a stud. I have the STD, and all I need is U.
Q: What do women and KFC have in common?
A: Once you eat the breasts and thighs, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
#takemebacksophie
Hey mylady.
Hey bro.
Me mylady.
Me a bro.
Boy: I'm dead.
Girl: Is that why you're so ugly?
Boy: No, I was just born this way.
You know what relationships and life? They both come to an end.
My sister's boyfriend is mad because I fucked his girl.
I had a boyfriend once. He broke up with me because he "wanted to be more alive." I guess it didn't work when he went to my basement.
Blood is red.
Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?
Yo' mama is a joke.
Timmy: *grabs box of Trojans*
Daddy:...
Timmy: Well come on diddy!
Daddy: Well shit lets go son!
Both: YEE YEE
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Kid: Hey, Dad.
Dad: You're an hour late.
Kid: No, it was two hours. Also, I was working on math.
Dad: By yourself?
Kid: No.
Dad: A boy?
Kid: I was with the teacher.
Dad: My kid just said "butch," but since he is a kid, he said a bad word on accident.
*The next day*
Uncle: F*CK!
A sibling went up to their other sibling and said, "Dad said you're adopted."
The other sibling said, "You are, too."
Then the first sibling goes, "No, I'm not."
And the sibling says, "We're twins."
The other kid goes, "And you're adopted... oh."
My friend wasn't laughing at my jokes, so I said, "Is your funny bone broken?" But he got mad, and then I said, "Do you have a bone to pick with me?" He tried to insult me, but I said, "Call me what you want, I got thick skin," and this story was down to the bone.
What's a gay guy should be scared of?
A straight gay!
Me and my mom order Chinese food. So when it came, my mom grabbed the egg roll and started to suck it down. Then I ask my mom what are you doing. Then my mom says, "I love you for 5 dollar."
Ur dad is mad.