Relationship jokes

Walk up to an adopted kid and ask this, "How's your biological parents? Are they well?"

I would tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I can only think of the punchline.

I dated a German girl, it was very annoying when she kept on screaming her age and moaning.

Jack and Jill popped some pills to get a little tipsy.

Jack got a surprise and bloodshot eyes because Jill gave him a roofie.

A happy little girl was running on the grass. She saw two gay guys kissing in a blank space, and she started crying. The two gay guys heard her crying, and then they asked her: "Why are you crying?" The little girl answered: "This is the first time I see an unnatural nature."

😂😂😂😂

You're at your girlfriend's house for a family dinner. Your GF says, "Daddy, please pass me the salt," when you and her father begin to reach for the salt.

Guys tell me that I have a MILF for a mom. So I told my mom that guys tell me that she is a MILF. My mom said to me, "What is a MILF?" so I said, "Mother I'd Like TO F-ck." So my mom started to laugh and said, "Well, you do need a new step dad."

So there I was, fucking my sister, and she shouts, "God, you fuck like Dad!" I then said, "Damn, that’s what Mom said."

I remember my mom's last words before her divorce, "Did you just load in me?"

My ex-wife was deaf. She left me for a deaf friend of hers.

To be honest, I should have seen the signs.

What do James Doyle and Hannah Doyle have in common?

John fucked them both in the rear.

You should never date a prospector. They're all just gold diggers.

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

Say "I'm a man" after every sentence.

You walk into a bar. (I'm a man.) You find a girl. (I'm a man.) You take her home. (I'm a man.) She whispers in your ear. (I'm a man.)

Me: I fucked your mom.

Orphan: I don't have a mom so you fucked the air.

What do you call your son?

An mistake.

My sister and I were both adopted from the same country, and my parents say they got us on a "two for one special."

I thought my wife was joking when she said she was gonna leave me because I wouldn’t stop singing “I'm a believer,” but then I saw her face.

My sexlife xddddddddd

What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton? "You're dead to me."