Relationship jokes
Mom: I was an orphan once. The kid: Oh, ok, idgaf. Mom: And you're gonna be too! :) The kid: Ok, idgaf- WAIT WHAT THE FU-
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
It's funny dating someone smarter than you. My girlfriend knows how to push my buttons but never takes into account what a dick I can be if need be. Let me explain. Say, for example, she calls me retarded, I remind her that she's dating me.
You guys wanna hear a joke?
My LOVE LIFE.
Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?
Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.
Daughter: You so get on my nerves.
Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.
Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.
Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.
Why do orphan girls become prostitutes?
So they can call someone "daddy."
My girl walks in the room in nude mode and sat on my dick. I said, "What up, your pussy?" She said, "Your dick."
If you get a divorce with your husband, does that still mean you’re siblings?
Alicia was not a popular girl. None of the guys noticed her. Once she got a boyfriend, but then he cheated on her with Katy and said, "You're not sexy enough, Katy is much hotter."
So Alicia took a match, set herself on fire, and screamed, "THIS GIRL IS ON FIRE!"
And then she died.
What's the smallest stick in the world?
Your man's dick.
What's the definition of rude?
Sticking a blind man in a corner and telling him to find his wife.
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
Johny Sin's son checked his father's folder of p*rn in his laptop.
and found that in all the videos his father is...
Did you hear about the guy that went to a nudist colony? The first day was his hardest.
What did your mom say last night? "Go harder!"
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
How do you get a depressed girl to suck your dick?
Pour bleach on it.
What is the difference between the human rights act and a dad?
My dad is nice!
A penis has a bad life. His neighbor is an asshole, his friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him.