Why does the large dildo not have any friends?
He's a pain in the ass.
Relationship Jokes
How many times do you nut? It depends how hard you do it.
My brothers kept annoying me.
I told them I would disembowel them if they kept it up.
It was an empty threat—right after I was done.
I looked at my daughter. I told her what's wrong.
She said I wasn't being a daddy to her until...
You can make fun of adopted kids all you want. What are they going to do, tell their parents on you? Lol.
Why wouldn’t Mr. Bee 🐝 push Ms. Bee 🐝 away?
Because he loves his honey.
Why does Ms. Mushroom 🍄 go out with Mr. Mushroom 🍄?
Because he’s a fungi.
You'll never be lonely at cousinsonly.com.
There's a girl I like in my school, but she's always on her phone. It seems that I can't get a SIGNAL from her.
Your family in a nutshell.
Friend: I'm gonna go ask out my crush.
Me: *fake sneezes* Sorry, I'm allergic to bullshit.
I showed my girlfriend my shotgun yesterday. It really blew her away.
If you have a twin sister, do you have the same name? Only if your mom and dad give you the same name.
What do you call a school bus that you cannot drive?
A friend.
What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing you haven't told her twice already.
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What does an imouto ride?
Onii-san.
What are twins’ favorite fruit?
Pairs 🍐.
I'm hard right now.
'Cause you're a DICKstraction. ;)
What can you build with people? A boat!
