Relationship jokes
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy, but in the end, Jack got a face full of cock because Jill's real name is Randy.
What’s the difference between an orphan and a flower? One of them gets picked.
Why can’t orphans be gay?
They have no one to call "daddy".
Lesbian stands for:
L: Loving
E: Extra
S: Shitty
B: Bitches
I: I
A: Am attracted to
N: Nice girls.
What's the same with a controller and a woman?
They both work if you hit them.
Guy: Hi, how was your day today?
Woman: Good!
Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*
Guy: How many months pregnant are you?
Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.
Why is it good to be an orphan?
Because every bag of chips is family sized.
I like my women like I like my microwaves.
Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.
Why do orphans have sex?
To call someone "daddy"!
I have a girlfriend.
What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
You're adopted.
My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."
Little did I know it was just at prison.
How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.
Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.
Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.
Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.
How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.
I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.