Relationship jokes

I like my women like I like my microwaves.

Hot, ready to go when I am, and able to kill any baby I put in her.

Why do orphans have sex?

To call someone "daddy"!

I have a girlfriend.

What do a Rubik's cube and a dick have in common? The more you play with them, the harder they get.

I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.

You're adopted.

My friend said, "Let's have a sleepover."

Little did I know it was just at prison.

How can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives three fucking nights in a row.

Are you a bowling ball? Because I want to stick 3 fingers in you.

Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six, you be the nine.

Hey, can you tell that a blonde likes you? She only gives you two nights in a row.

How can you tell a blonde likes you? She ducks you two nights in a row.

I just wish I went on a date with Ariana Grande, and then everybody knew I fucked Ariana Grande.

I caught my wife having s*x with another guy.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call "daddy."

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have big dick. Add me.

Snapchat- any.bry05

I need a lovely lady to spoil. I have a big dick and a very clean house. Add me now.

Snapchat: @colin_green21

penis.

I like penis.

Some girls are like rocks.

You skip the flat ones.

I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.