A man was taking a child into a dark forest.
The child said, "I'm scared!"
The man replied, "Well I have to walk home alone."
Papyrus: I hate you, Frisk.
Frisk: This is why Mettaton doesn't fucking love you.
Sans: Kid, I will kill you.
Papyrus: (Remembers something) That's why you don't have a lover, you lonely giraffe!
Some dude: Water you thinking?
Me: You're drowning in my head.
Son: I love you, Dad.
Dad gets in car and drives away.
How come none of my friends have dungeons? Oddly enough, they all have "rape dungeons."
When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
I would say something funny, but I would have to dig someone up.
One day, two friends found a treasure map. So they decided to try to find the treasure.
After several hours they found the treasure. It was a suit that gives the person wearing it super strength. One of the friends wore the suit and hugged the other friend. They were both red.
Me: Hey, I’m your mom.
Orphan: Yay, you came back!
Me: Sike!
9 months before I was born,
I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom.
Why was the kid sad?
He was adopted.
So Kenny finally found his one true love.
But he can't be with her because it's illegal to marry your sister.
Part 2: He walks up to a stake and nails himself there. Then he finds the knife and says to someone to find a cake to celebrate his death, but everybody came. That was the sign that nobody loved him, and that's how you know if people love you.
What do you call a mix of nuts, bolts, and my ex?
A roTHOT.
So I came across a guy who was carrying a ton of clothing and makeup.
And I asked him what he is doing.
Guy: Some kawaii girl told me if I bought and brought her this crap, she would let me play with her tits.
Me: Erm... Are you a simp?
Two minutes later, the guy arrived at Kawaii Girl's house.
KG: You have it?
Guy: Yup, now can I play with them?
KG: Sure!
KG then went to her room.
Guy: Ohhhh, I know what your going to do. You're gonna call me over and you will be-
KG then held a bird cage with two birds in it.
KG: Have fun playing with them!
Guy: WHAT THE FU-
Time for a Terraria joke.
What is a worm called when it is with a rich worm for his money?
A gold digger.
(play the game or watch some vids to understand)
A: Guess what kind of men/women do gold diggers like?
Q: One that has a sense of money.
Some dude called me a tool.
So later I got hammered and nailed his girlfriend.
Guess he was right :/
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
Me: "You wanna see my dad?"
Some kid: "Yeah?"
Me: "Close your eyes and he will appear."
Some kid: "He ain't appearing."
Me: "Sorry I thought he would appear for you. He won't appear for me."
*The kid laughs*
Moral: Not everything is supposed to be funny text if you notice what was really going on. 🙃
