Relationship Jokes

Wait, since I'm underage from having sex, what is it like?

Watersharky, do you hate me?????

Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.

Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was pegged.

Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.

Oh, yeah! FRESHFRY fucked a boy!

Hey Gwen, uhhhhhhh, fresfry told me to tell you I like you. Jk, I don't.

Why can't orphans have sex?

They do not have anyone to call "daddy."

1st graders: Ay yo girl, I think you’re beautiful, let’s get married!!

2nd graders: Uhh, don’t tell my mom that we’re dating!! She won’t let me date! Let’s keep this a seeeeecret heeheehee.

3rd graders: Uh, my teacher told me to stay after school because I wrote a poem about you and I’m 9 years old, we have to break up, sweetie.

4th graders: Hey, I think you’re cute!! Wanna date? I don’t think my girlfriend will mind.......

5th graders (they start wearing makeup): Ay girl, your eyelashes are pretty, I like you now, wanna date? Here’s my numberrrrrr.

6th graders: Heyyyyy, I gotta tell you a secret, I got a crush on you!! Don’t tell anyone!! Byeee, ooh, I’ll text you later!

7th graders: We need to make Peyton jealous because she broke up with you!! Wanna date? I mean, you’re not hot, but still, great personalityyyyy, alright, bye now.

8th graders: Hi sweetheart, I got STARRRBUCKKKSSS

Me: UGLY AF AND LITERALLY NO BOYFRIEND.....

Guy: Do you want a nickel?

Girl: Sure.

Guy: So you’ll tickle my pickle?

Girl: 😳😩😩😩

What do you call your mom? Gay.

Me (an adult) with my girl going to a nice restaurant, I asked the waiter, "People under 12 eat free, right?" The waiter confirmed that yes, people under 12 eat free, then my girlfriend said, "But I'm 13."

My wife walked in on me cheating on her and said, "How could you cheat on me?!" I said, "She was lying naked on the table what I was supposed to do?" and my wife responded with, "Perform the autopsy."

One time my boyfriend and I were playing the tickle game and I tickled him on his thighs by accident, and I said, "Oh no, I am dead."

Then he started tickling me on my thighs up to my vagina, and then I moaned while laughing and told him, "STOP, please."

Then he said, "That's what I thought," and I was like, you cheated. He was like, "You first did it."

So he went to the restroom and pulled down his pants. Then I jumped on him and pulled his dick five times, and he screamed, and I quickly ran out and laughed. Then he ran to me, and I screamed, and he started eating my pussy and fingering me while I said, "Okay, okay, stop."

And he stopped and started sucking my boobs and giving me hickeys while I said, "Please stop," and then I pushed him off, and he turned me around and put his dick in my hole, and I said, "Owwwwwwww."

Then he said, "Play with me, I'll fuck you up."

I said, "Ughh," and slapped him.

My dad brought me some sunglasses, but it still wasn't enough to keep my son out of my life.

Money and women are kind of the same thing for me; it comes and goes very easily.

I told people your mom is also known as "MBD" because you're a mega baby dispenser.

When an orphan takes a selfie, is that their family photo?

As I was eating this girl out, I thought I tasted some horse semen... I exclaimed, "Oh, Grandma! That's how you died!"

What is a redneck virgin?

A seven-year-old that can run faster than her brothers.

So I suggested to my wife that she'd look sexier with her hair back...

Which is apparently an insensitive thing to say to a cancer patient.