Relationship jokes
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
What’s the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Q: Why can kids relate to dogs?
A: They are noticed for 13 years, then left for no one to touch again.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
My wife said I had no sense of direction... so I packed my sh*t and left.
Why did the hedgehog cross the road?
To see his flat-mate.
My ex wanted to humiliate me in front of her friends, so she said I was useless in bed.
Should have seen her face when they all disagreed.
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.
Why can't orphans have sex?
They have nobody to call "daddy."
Why do my parents not love me? Because I've fucked 12 dogs and 7 minors while they were watching!
Depresso Exspresso let's be friends, please.
Daughter: Hey Dad, can I use your car?
Dad: Sure, but first you have to give me a blow job."
Daughter: Okay, (proceeds to service dad). Dad, ewww, your dick tastes like shite!"
Dad: Oh, that's right, I lent your brother the car.
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
I punched my mom for no freaking reason.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they won't find anybody to call "daddy."
Jack and Jill Went up the hill to have some hanky panky.
Silly Jill forgot her pill. And now there's little Franky.
An emo kid and a silent kid would be a good acquaintance because the emo would wish to die, and the silent kid would be the nice guy and grant that wish.
An adopted kid is walking to school when an emo kid approaches him. He says the emo kid, "Do you have rope?"
"No," replies the adopted kid.
"Dang it! I hate you," says the emo kid. "Now the adopted one is angry. Well, at least I'm loved," says the adopted kid.
If you know an emo kid, please stay away. The depression is contagious. I'm a survivor.
Like if you dislike emos.
Parent: My parents never attended my birthdays.
Birthday girl: Oh wow!
Parent: Anyone missing?
Birthday girl: Your parents.