Red

Red jokes

My boss doctor said that we are getting a surgeon coming in tomorrow. I'm super excited to work with him. The next day, we had to do our first-ever open heart surgery, so me and the surgeon spent many hours on this patient. We finished the surgery and went outside for a smoke, and we were talking. I said, "Why did you keep the patient's blood on your glove?"

He replied, "We in my free time I test it for anything diseases, HIV." The next day, I got invited to his house, and we had some drinks. I said, "This is amazing red tea. What is in it?" Just the 2000 people you have cut open.

I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.

I was in the corner shop and the Indian woman was sporting a red dot on her forehead. I scratched it off and won a fucking Ford Focus!

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    • What's black and white and read all over?

    A newspaper.

    What's black, white, black, white, red, white, black, red, black, then red all over?

    A penguin falling down the stairs.

    I'm actually against abortion.

    Just go to the car wash and tell 'em you ate too much red pasta!

    Q: What do you get when you cross Raggedy Ann with the Pillsbury Dough Boy?

    A: A red-headed bitch with a yeast infection.

    Pickup line for gay people:

    Roses are red, Antarctica is in the south, Get on your knees, And open your mouth.

    What do you call an Indian?

    Person in red. Cart a pack of Maltesers.

    Roses are red, balls are round, skirts are up, panties are down, belly to belly, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in.

    There once was a man who beat his wife, And before he even knew it, he ended her life. His hands were a mess, all red and bloody, He had to find somewhere to hide the body.