What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?
A golfer goes *whack* "darn" and a skydiver goes "darn" *whack.*
Why did Dad say no to the pool? Because he can't swim.
Why are basketball courts slippery?
Because the players dribble on it.
"Ryan, come out to play-ee-ay!!"
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
What has 4 legs and two gloves?
All five people on my baseball team. ⚾️
If your parachute doesn't work, don't worry.
You have the rest of your life to figure it out.
Did you know that if you die you can still be a part of family game night!
All you have to do is have your family cremate you and put you in an hour glass, and the games that use hour glasses, well, you will be a part of family game night.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
My wife saw me hit the best drive yesterday with my golf clubs.
I must have drove that chihuahua 300 yards.
Where do squirrels go for fun?
The acorn-ival.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
What's the difference between a golfer and a fisherman? A fisherman has to bring proof back.
Why can't you run through a campground?
Because it's "past tents!"
Three kids one day found a magic slide. There was a sign next to it that said, "Slide down and your wish will come true." The first kid slid down and wished for a chocolate river. He landed in a chocolate river.
When the 2nd kid slid down he wished for a bunch of money. He landed in a pile of money.
Finally, the 3rd kid slid down, and he said, "WEEEE!!!!!!"
What did the bowler say when the balls were on the lane and the pin? They said, "Strike!" 😂😂😂😂
My grandfather is a great fisherman, especially at baiting a rod.
I guess you could call him the Master Baiter.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
