What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
I got a new job at a trampoline park the other day. If I’m being honest, it’s got its ups and downs.
Me: Have you ever went sky diving?
Friend: No.
Me: Well don't, it sucks.
Friend: Why?
Me: They gave me a parachute and I lived.
Why did Suzy fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Not Suzy.
What do boobs and toys have in common?
Kids end up playing with toys, but adults end up playing with boobs.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
a ball hit me in the vagina
What do you call the 10th hole on a military golf course?
Ten-putt!
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
What do you call a stoner when horny?
A weed whacker!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving, you need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
I was going to make a pun about math, but my answers never add up.
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger, then it hit me :3
Me and my friend were duck hunting.
He shot 5 ducks in one shot. Then he shot by accident and yelled "DUCK!" then "MOTHERDUCKER!" Then ducks came down and one by one bit him.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
