Jack and Jill went up the hill to smoke some marijuana. Jack got high and grabbed Jill’s thigh and said, “You know you wanna.” Jill said yes and pulled up her dress, and then they had some fun, but silly Jill forgot her pill, and now they have a son.
Why don’t orphans like baseball?
They have no home to run to.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
'Cause they can't find home.
I asked my dad why a grown man would play Pokémon Go?
He said “Wynaut.”
Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide!
What do emo kids like to do in their spare time?
Hanging out.
Dad joke.
Why does a dad get more than a pair of socks at the golf course?
Because of a hole in one!
Never take a person canoeing or kayaking if they had a cerebrovascular accident.
They’ll hear the one word they hate the most: “STROKE, STROKE, STROKE!”
What do you say before you jump off a building?
Parkour!
A basketball player walks into a strip club:
"Hi, I heard I could bounce some balls here?"
Why do orphans like boomerangs?
Because they come back, unlike their dad.
Yo mama so fat, when she jumped in the pool, the water jumped out!
What's the difference between an egg and a good wank?
You can beat an egg.
What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A stick.
If you kayak with a cap on and the kayak capsizes, whether or not the cap falls off depends on the cap size.
Have you ever had sex camping?
It's inTENTS.
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents can't push them on the swing!
Why don't orphans go to the park?
Because their parents aren't there to push them on the swing!
