Really Jokes

I called a Suicide Helpline, but they didn't help me commit suicide. Tbh they really left me hanging there

I realized that a really bad joke and my life are the exact same thing.

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

What's red and really bad for your teeth. A brick.

so, a few hours ago my friend said i need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes...like...it's really not that deep?

I like my cigars like I like my women,7 years old and in a burlap sack from Cuba

Ok not really racist but still funny

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

I woke up one night and it was really dark in my room, then my T.V. started to float out the window. I said "drop it nig-"

As an Autist I find these jokes really funny, thanks for the early 13th bday present ya'll :>

"You look like you've lost some weight."

"Really? Well, whatever weight I lost, you found it, pal!"

My heart says to stop because it hurts Bro chill its really not that deep

A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!

If you really think about it every market in Africa is a black market

My friend was pissed of with me. I was sniffing his sisters knickers. It was worse that they were still on her. It was worse the family were there. It made the rest of her funeral really awkward

Wow- didn't know little jhony jokes were so dark- Well, but what do you expect from a site with jokes about sucide, sex and drugs? :-)

"Drugs?????" His eyes popped out. Well I don't really know if there actually are- and the exact ones... But there's so many kinds of jokes- Even chin jokes. :⁠^⁠))

and slice jokes!

What kind of "slices"?

Handy ones. ^⁠_⁠^

My friends and I were talking about this really ugly girl at our school. For some reason, she had the same name as me.

There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed and they all went to heaven. God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said,"I want to be handsome. " God granted his wish. The second guy said,"I want to be more handsome than the first guy.", God granted his wish. "The third guy said " I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish and this continued on and on until the 15 ugly guy.The ugly guy was laughing. Really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish