Suicidal ideation is like wanting to slaughter someone but knowing/feeling that you can't. It's also In a way kind of like seeing a really hot chick that you wished you could F but you again for whatever reason you either feel you can't or you just can't...............
I got some new jeans yesterday, until I realised they didn't fit me around the waist so I went looking for a belt. I couldn't find one. Then I had a really good idea. I could attach a ton of watches together to make a belt! But then I just thought it was a waist of time.
Incest. When "slow down and apply more lube bro" REALLY means slow down and apply more lube bro.
i met a girl that was 6-5 and she fell on 9/11 and broke her arm, she really said ohh snap like a twin tower
If you really think about it every market in Africa is a black market
A man wakes from a coma. His wife changes out of her black clothes and, irritated, remarks, “I really cannot depend on you in anything, can I!
My friends were really annoying me at my birthday party, so I decided to pop a balloon to spook them.
Maybe going on a hot air balloon ride wasn't the best idea
a fat girl was dancing on the table and i said nice legs she says you really think so and i say yes definitely most tables would of been broken by now
what did the skeleton say to the other wow that song spooky scary skeletons really does send chills down my spine
Did you fall from heaven? Because you really did a damage on your face.
My sister said that you no that that is really cool than I said you no you can shut up
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender says, "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" The grasshopper looks confused and says, "Oh really? You have a drink named 'Bob'??"
so, a few hours ago my friend said i need to CUT it out with the s/h jokes...like...it's really not that deep?
Nice! Angry Birds really has improved.
REALLY CRAPPY JOKE ALERT!!! oh quin how was eating that tight butt must be nasty i heard u met from rear ending him
What was the last thought Jesus had before he died?
"Man, I could really use a crowbar right about now."
I named my daughter Kennedy so when I talked about how her brain was shot out of her head people just thought I paid really close attention in history.
Orphans are really out here taking selfies. Nah bro that's a family photo.
what do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed HEHEHEHE
Abortion is a really touchy subject for me, on one hand there's dead babies! but on the other hand women get a choice
