My friend was annoying me with bird puns I realized toucan play at this game
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
Knock knock! Who's there? It's Dave! Dave who? Dave proceeds to break down crying at the realization that his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.
I wanted to make a belt out of watches, then I realized it was a waste of time!
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.
"I told my kids not to spend all day at a computer, but then I realized I do that myself."
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
This one time I said that John Cena looks like crap.
But I realized I can't see him. LOL!
The Somalian Olympics Team has just apologized to the Olympic Committee after realizing that sailing and shooting were two separate events.
I thought of having a threesome, but then I realized that if I wanted to disappoint two people at one time I might as well have dinner with my parents.
