Put jokes
A couple were trying new things in the bedroom to spice up their marriage. The husband would blindfold the wife, put on a condom and she would guess the flavor. They did this one time a night.
The first night, she put the blindfold on and he put the condom on his dick and she tasted it, she immediately knew it was strawberry. The second night, the same thing happened except it was banana. The third night, she put the blindfold on and tasted his dick and said, "Eww it tastes like cheese and onions." The husband replied, "Hang on I haven't put the condom on yet."
A family put their kid and their dog in an orphanage but came back for only the dog.
What is the difference between a washing machine and a hooker?
I can put a load in the washing machine without it following me.
All these females swear they loyal... but you can’t put loyalty on a hoe.
I put a Dalmatian in a washing machine and killed him.
What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay person...
It don't moan when u put milk inside.
You look like a cow went through puberty, put the milk before the cereal, then ate it with a fork with a little sprinkle of steak.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They put doorknobs on a wall and said, "Open the door."
Guess why Stephen died?? Because his wife forgot to put him on charge at night.
"Jump in the Cadillac, girl, let's put some miles on it."
How many gays does it take to put in a light bulb?
Only one... but it takes the entire Emergency Room to get it out.
Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.
Why did tube date electricity? Because he would light up when she touched him.
How do you turn a Chinese person into an American? Put a bag of ice on their eyes.
I'm going to hang myself in the bathroom at school and put a note telling kids that I'm a piñata.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Yo mama is so fat that when she is about to put her foot on the scale, the scale begs for mercy.
Your teeth are so yellow, when you smile, you put the sun out of business.
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
How do you make a Tico dance? You put a little boogie in it.