Put jokes
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
A father of five puts on a gas mask and a hazard suit and walks outside, but before he could make it, his son came and asked, "Dad, what are you wearing?"
The father answered with, "A costume for Halloween."
The child asked, "Can I join?" He said no, for he said it's their last Halloween. After that, I saw green smoke all over the same house they lived in.
How do you surprise a blind man? Put a plunger in the toilet.
What does Jeff Bezos do before he goes to sleep?
He puts his PJ-Amazon!
Santa decided coal was too expensive, so he started putting shredded lettuce and mayo in naughty kid's lockers... he calls it the coal's law.
What is the similarity between women and freezers?
We like to put our meat in them.
So Americans strongly worship Donald Trump, eh? Well, let's put that claim to the test by throwing him into the general population of Rikers Island.
What do women and KFC have in common?
After you get done with the thighs and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.
TRUE STORY!
X-Ray Tech: I broke my arm and went to the hospital. The X-Ray Tech was the hottest blonde I've ever seen.
I threw her ass down on the X-Ray table, ripped her clothes off, ripped off mine and I jumped on top of her!
Then I put the X-ray machine on top of us, turned it on and I looked up on the X-ray monitor and I watched and saw my sperm swimming up inside her!
Today I put the women’s rights book in the fantasy section of a library.
There are 3 men: an American, a French, and an Italian who have to take a trip and take the plane.
The American puts his hand out the window and says: "We are in America, I touched the Statue of Liberty." The French says: "We are in France, I touched the Eiffel Tower." The Italian says: "We are in Italy, I touched the garbage!"
Student: A plane is carrying 204 bricks, one falls out, how many are left?
Teacher: 203
Student: How do you put an elephant in the fridge?
Teacher: You can't.
Student: Yes, you can. Open the fridge door, put the elephant in.
How do you put a giraffe in the fridge?
Teacher: Open the door, put in the giraffe?
Student: No, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe.
The Lion King is having a party, who isn't there?
Teacher: Let me guess, the lion.
Student: No, the giraffe, he's stuck in a fridge.
Sally has to cross a river full of vicious alligators to get to safety, she gets across safely how?
Teacher: She stepped on the alligators?
Student: No, the alligators are at the party.
Sally dies anyway, how?
Teacher: She frowned?
Student: No, she was hit in the head by a falling brick.
My friends hate when I make skeleton jokes. I guess I need to put more backbone into it.
Why did the boy put the potatoes 🥔 on the kitchen floor?
He wanted to mash potatoes!
This is the account of music provider just let you I post for the enjoyment of myself, and to spread different kinds and types of music willingly. I do not respond for the soul reason of ✨people✨ and do not take offense to anything that I post. If you have and issues or just wanna talk contact me i'm only discord so that's all you getting (not being rude) ill put my discord in the comments.
Because all I do is pound it, man, I would put you on my 600 lb life if you didn't weigh a thousand.
I have no toes, so I put blood on my foot, and then my other foot got run over, so, ye.
Guys, let's make this post have the most comments on the whole website!
Put more comments.
An Ob-Gyn asks a lady to put her feet up on the stirrups.
Doctor: My God, you have the biggest vagina I’ve ever seen!
Woman: You don’t have to say that twice.
Doctor: I didn’t.