Put jokes
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Q: What's 8 inches and makes my wife scream when I put it in her mouth?
A: Her dead fetus.
Q: What do priests have in common with McDonald's?
A: They both put their meat in 13-year-old buns.
Why didn't the skeleton want to make art anymore?
He didn't have the heart to put into it.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
I put glue in a man :)
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades and throw it down the stairs?
An erection!
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
How many feminists do you need to change a light bulb?
One. She puts the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around her.
...just kidding-
- none. They can't change anything.
What’s the difference between a baby and a refrigerator?
The refrigerator doesn’t squeal when I put my meat in it.
This is really mean...
A man put a blind man in a circular room and said, "Your dinner's in the corner."
What's the difference between putting a baby and a pizza in an oven?
The pizza doesn't scream in the oven.
How did Helen Keller's mom punish her? She put her in a circular room and told her to find the corner.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why did the blondie put her iPad in the blender? To make apple juice.
What do you call it when Hitler puts retards in the oven? Baked potatoes.
What if you put a scared homosexual guy and an angry homophobic guy inside a stable?
Hmm, let's see, if the homosexual guy has some good luck, maybe he will meet a super unicorn and help him out to defeat the angry homophobic guy :D
What's worse than eating 5 raw oysters out of your grandmother's vagina?
Realizing you only put in 4.
I read a book on anti-gravity...
It was impossible to put down.
A kid is arrested for a school shooting threat. He is then apprehended and asked why he wanted to do this. He responds with, "What do you mean? I already did it." Then the police ran back to the school to apprehend the other people he was planning it with. The cops busted in through the doors, which caused a smoke trap to go off, which then the cops saw three people walk in and the police begin to fire. But as the smoke began to clear, the cops saw that the three people were 16 kids duck taped to rolling poles, 4 per pole. Back at the station, holding the kid being apprehended, the kid puts his feet up on a chair and said, "Aww, it pays to be lazy!"