Puns
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,
but I never realized they suited me.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.