Puns

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.

What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?

A zom-BEE.

What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?

A fishing pole.

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?

Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!

Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.

Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!

Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.

Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait

Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I would tell you a joke about a slice of pizza, but it's really... cheesy. I donut think you will come up with a better pun than this.

Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?

Because it was on strike.

I have a really good construction joke, but I’ll have to post it later because I’m still working on it.

I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.

Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?

Because you are looking a little bit GaY.

What is the same between water and dark jokes?

Not everyone gets it!

What did Google Translate say to Siri?

"Why are you so Siri-ous?"

Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.

I once had clothes that were so unbearably uncomfortable,

but I never realized they suited me.

Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.

Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.

Wood-fired pizza.

How would pizza get a job now?