Puns
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.
Sans: Why couldn't the skeleton go to prom?
Papyrus: Why? AND YOU KNOW I HATE PUNS!
Sans: Because they had NO BODY to go with.
Papyrus: THAT IS ENOUGH!!!
Sans: Sorry, didn't mean to GET UNDER YOUR SKIN.
Papyrus: YOU HAVE MADE ME MAD TO THE BONE SANS......wait
Sans: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
What is the same between water and dark jokes?
Not everyone gets it!
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Me: DOCTOR! DOCTOR! I HAVE 50 SECONDS TO LIVE!
Doctor: Sit down for a minute.
What do you call a farting boxer?
Gaseous Clay.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Knowing how to pick locks has really opened a lot of doors for me.
How do clarinet players play a song?
They reed their music.
What do you get when you mix a lemon and a cat?
A sourpuss.
Do you know where time is? Because it keeps flying by.
What did Google Translate say to Siri?
"Why are you so Siri-ous?"