Puns
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
Have you heard my cherry joke? It's pitiful.
Have you heard about the canoe sale down the road? It was an ordeal.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
Do you know why I hate pedophiles?
They are fucking immature kids!
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
Why couldn't the skeleton go to the prom? Because he had no BODY to go with...
I could have said a skeleTON more jokes, but I think that might break your funny bone.