Puns
What do you call a short person that goes to school?
A Sammie.
Wood-fired pizza.
How would pizza get a job now?
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Why did the cumulonimbus not show up for work?
Because it was on strike.
I tried to make a pun about cheese, but I couldn't think of any good "whey" to do it.
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.
I wanted to get brain surgery.
I changed my mind.
What's a skeleton's favorite instrument?
A trombone.
My dad was a roof cleaner and I'm dedicating this to him, so dad, if you're up there!
What did the banana say to the peel?
“Let’s split!”
When does it rain money?
When there's a change in the weather.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
What do you call a fly without wings?
A walk.
They finally made a movie about a clock, about time.
Paper.
Aww c'mon! I thought my joke made the cut!
What did the bottle of conditioner do on the toilet?
Shampoo.
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"