My eggcellent egg yolks crack everyone up. If you don't like them your just hard boiled
Why are eggs bad at puns? They always mix up their yokes!
How do drown a Blonde.... you put a scratch and sniff sticker in a pool
What animal lies.A lion
how did the skeleton know it was ganna rain. If you said he felt it in his bones, your wrong he watched the weather forcast.
What do you call a country with nukes? Abomination.
Yesterday I asked my friend “ What is a fish without eyes” They replied “I don’t know” I said “ fsh “
once there was a boat its friends said: "it's time to come back." and the boat said: "No way I don't give into pier pressure.
I am up in the air about becoming a pilot.
What mountain do people like to race on?
Mount Rushmore.
Get it?
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle? Beef strokin' off
There's nothing else that can beat up dog
What's up dog?
Just my depression!
I own a pencil that used to be owned by William Shakespeare, but he chewed it a lot. Now I can't tell if it's 2B or not 2B.
Knock knock
Who’s there
Who
Who who
You sound like an owl
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
I walked into a store and I pointed a stick to the roof and i said"this is a stick up"
What should you use to battle a T-Rex? A dino-sword.
Dont trust stairs... They are always up to something
I was about to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
What happened to the egg after it went on the rollercoaster?
It was scrambled.
