Puns
What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
"If all of these structures break we will all die."
And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"
And he said, "It would be breaking news."
What is the chair's favorite person?
A sit-izen.
How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?
You get a good connection.
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
A lumberjack goes to a person's house.
Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
What do you call a stick with a string on the end of it?
A fishing pole.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.