Seal

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

Toad

Why did the toad cross the road?

To show his girlfriend he had guts.

Play

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

List

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

Doctor

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

Patient

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

Flirt

Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!

Edna: Hey there big boy!

Big boy: You need to stop doing this.

Cat

A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”

The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”

Guess who dies next.

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