Puns
I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"
Why did the toad cross the road?
To show his girlfriend he had guts.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.
It means a lot!
A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.
No joke!
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"
The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"
Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"
I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.
I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.
What’s the most artistic fruit?
Vincent mango.
What do you call a dinosaur that likes subtraction?
A galiminus.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite.
What is a doll's favorite dog? A doll-matian.
I went on a one in a lifetime vacation. Never again!
What is the slipperiest county?
Greece!
Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.
Wanna see something dark?
Close your eyes.
Don't flirt when there is Life Alert!
Edna: Hey there big boy!
Big boy: You need to stop doing this.
What kind of bug lives in a graveyard?
A zom-BEE.
How do you make a hotdog stand? You take away its chair.
A cat gets its tail run over, and its mother assured him it’ll be okay. “You just have to stay PAW-sitive!”
The mother was later killed in her sleep because her son hates puns. At the funeral, one of her daughters said, “You have CAT to be KITTEN me right MEOW!”
Guess who dies next.