Puns

Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!

A man went to the doctor, and the doctor said, "What happened to you?"

The man replied and said, "I broke my arm in two places!"

Then the doctor replied with, "DON’T GO BACK TO THOSE TWO PLACES!!"

"If all of these structures break we will all die."

And I said, "Hey, that is not supportive!"

And he said, "It would be breaking news."

What is the chair's favorite person?

A sit-izen.

What do you call a wild party in a bamboo forest?

Panda-monium!

I told a seal a joke, it went like this: "Why did the kid cross the playground?" He said, "Why?" I said, "To get to the other slide." And then he said, "That's the sealiest thing I've ever heard!"

How do you knockout an unorthodox blue tooth?

You get a good connection.

I once had a patient who wanted to change his species.

I'll tell you, he was unBEARable.

What’s the most artistic fruit?

Vincent mango.

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

What is Michael Jordan's favorite coffee place? Dunkin' Donuts.

A lumberjack goes to a person's house.

Then he realized the tree was too big and was stumped and had to leaf.

What do you call a tall, affluent person? A big success.

I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.

But no pun in ten did.

Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.

(I love oil!)

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?

Frostbite.

Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me.

It means a lot!

What is the slipperiest county?

Greece!

Wanna see something dark?

Close your eyes.

Santa was in my social studies book. He was a redcoat.