Puns

My name is Gunter.

Gunter Gunter is dead.

Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D

What did one bee say to the other bee?

"I love you, honey!"

What did the brother cell say when the sister cell stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis! (my toe, sis)

I can make 9/11 jokes, but every time I do, they crash and burn.

"Hey, hey, Spongebob! Water you doing?" [laughs]

"Just looking for all my coins with my metal detector because beach better have my money!" [laughs]

"How much have you found so far?"

"Y'know what, I'm not really shore!" [laughs]

"Are you related to Yoda?"

"Because yo-delicious!"

Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.

Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?

Because you need to planet.

What do you call a Native American with a boner?

A redwood.

Me: That’s a good WAVE.

Friend: I SEA it.

Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.

Me: I was SHORE it would be good.

Friend: I SEA what you did there.

So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.

They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."

Have you heard of the book about the transgender whale?

It’s called "Maybe Dick."

My grandma always loved to craft clothing. She dyed last week.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because...

What did the dark man say when he found out he had an erectile dysfunction?

"I can't breed! I can't breed! I can't breed!"

R.I.P. Floyd.

Did you know there is no "p" in the alphabet? ABCDEFGHIJKLM(NOP)!

Bread?

What has four wheels and flies?

A garbage truck.

Pineapple goes on pizza.

What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta!