I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
Puns
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I tried to find a camouflage shirt, but I couldn’t find one.
How many people does it take to change a lightbulb underwater? The results are shocking!
Q. You know what really bugs me?
A. Insect puns.
What do you get when you cross a belt and a watch?
A waist of time.
I told a cookie a joke the other day.
It just crumbled.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
I was always told as a kid that I have to pick between being a programmer and an English teacher.
They said: you can't be a "pro-grammer nazi."
Fun fact: Toasters were originally called tanning breads!
