Puns
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Why can't you tell a joke in a corn maze?
Because there's too many ears.
My cat got in a fight. It was a catastrophe.
Why do leaves change color in the fall?
Because they want to leaf their old color.
I would try to make a Fortnite joke, but I can't seem to build on it.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
What's a duck's favorite drug?
Cwack.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
Last night I had a dream about fishing poles, turns out it wasn't reel!
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!