Puns
If museums are full of dead things...
Then why aren't there any memes inside them?
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
I tried to think of how lighting works.
Then it struck me!
How many wives does Santa have?
Ho Ho Ho!
I was boiling some water and said, "Water, you will be mist!"
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.
What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.
What did the watch say to the failing watch company?
"You better watch it!"
I broke my arm yesterday. My bro said it is Arm-ageddon, and I still don’t know why.
How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
You pull down your pants and show it your nuts.
What kind of veggie is always getting itself into a hard situation?
A pickle.
Why do cats like to sleep on the floor?
'Cause it's a car-PET.
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I'll stop with the horrible puns if you can say a good joke.
Why is the most popular food at a baseball stadium pancakes? Because everybody likes a good batter!
Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?
A. A dino-snore.
You need to play a B flat, not a C sharp, you just got band!
What do you call a three-humped camel? Pregnant.
How do poets say hello?
Hey, haven’t we metaphor?
Did you hear about the man that got fired from his can job? It was soda-pressing.