Puns
Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu.
Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate nine!
Black dog is gay.
What do you call a cow grazing a field with 50% grass and 50% weed?
High steaks gambling.
A girl named Rebecca was friends with a guy called Fi. One day, Fi hit Rebecca, and Rebecca lost service.
Rebecca said to Fi, "Why-Fi?"
I got hit in the head with a can of soda yesterday. Luckily for me, it was a soft drink.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.
How are urinals made?
They get installed.
What bathroom does a trumpet go to?
The brass room...
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Happiness.
Mayonnaise marry me?
The Breakfast Couples: (Bacon) - Don't go bacon my heart.
(Egg) - I couldn't if I fried.
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!
We have been cursed by curse-ive.
Face-Timing My Girlfriend:
"Hey girl! Are you a veterinarian? Because these puppies are sick!" *shows muscle*
A woman wakes up in a hospital after an accident and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
And the doctor says, "I know, I amputated your arms."